Just Asking For Directions?
It’s happened again. This week I helped a new senior couple set up a new Vista system to replace their old W98 PII machine. As has happened so many times in the past, the husband stood in the distance and looked skeptical. He conveyed the impression that this was not his idea, but he would tolerate his wife’s activities because they had been together for a long time. The woman was obviously naive about computer usage and technique, but she had a written list of pertinent questions and projected an air of eager anticipation tempered with an almost pathological fear of either breaking her new computer or destroying the software.
She was definitely not bashful about showing her ignorance and seeking advice. “I’m sorry to have to ask for help, ” she said, “I set up the old Gateway by myself, but this one is more complicated.” That revelation told stories.
How do we appear to other people? I am a senior man and like to think I am open to new ideas and still learning new skills, but is that how other people see me? Certainly my male clients do not think of themselves as stick-in-the-muds compared to their active wives. Their self-images are probably quite different from what I experience.
Maybe this is nothing more serious than another aspect of the well-known male aversion to asking for directions. Some people would rather be lost than query a stranger. Some people would rather not know how to send email than sit with a tutor and learn. Or maybe my client was just bashful.
That could be, but nothing changes the fact that I spent a total of three hours with some new clients and the husband has yet to touch the machine in my presence. He did carry the old one out of their office to be given to a neighborhood teen. In contrast, his wife sat at the keyboard and laboriously read every window that popped up before hunting for and clicking “Okay.” One of my most difficult tasks is to sit patiently and let my clients do the entries while I gently prod. If I did not believe that is the best way to learn, I would rush through it myself and show them the results. But that would help neither of us.
On the other hand, the senior PC users group I attend is dominated by males who are not hesitant at all to express their opinions. The contrast between these two groups of people is striking. I’ve learned many new tricks from members who probably consider themselves less knowledgeable than me.
The few male-only clients I have only call on me to fix specific problems whether by tutoring, installing software, or even fixing hardware. To the best of my knowledge, none of them is following an organized study plan. But several of my female-only clients have signed up for formal courses and want some additional tutoring to help them over the rough spots.
Nothing I am writing is meant to imply that either males or females are better at picking up computer techniques. I am only observing that members of a specific subset of humanity demonstrate a definite male-female dichotomy in how they approach becoming computer literate at a mature age. That dichotomy is at least partly due to the sociological environment in which we matured. The next generation would probably behave differently except they will not have to become computer literate at an advanced age. I wonder what the grandchildren of our grandchildren will be forced to teach to their grandparents.
Click here to read about my new tutorial on helping seniors. The new version has grown considerably over the original. It has more topics and anecdotes, and fewer typos. While you’re at it, check out my expanded tutorial on decision theory.
[tags]senior learning, senior computing, tutor, impression[/tags]
