We signed up for the “sports massage” at the resort’s spa yesterday, aiming to be there an hour early to enjoy the bath house beforehand. They had whirlpools, hot tubs, saunas, Japanese tubs, jet showers, massage showers, and five special baths. These five baths were interesting, as each one was filled with a different set of herbs and/or whatnot. The first one looked like a tub filled with antifreeze, and it was the most relaxing of them all - although I couldn’t tell you what it was there for. These spas make up wacky reasons why you’d want to bathe in liquid that (under normal circumstances) you would never dream of sitting in. The second tub included a special blend of spices that would rejuvenate you after a long day. The third was filled with seaweed. The fourth, aromatherapy. The fifth, mud - although it wasn’t real mud, just a watered-down version of mud. I contend that the mud bath was nothing more than dirty water that the spa never bothers to clean (with attendants laughing at patrons who actually sit in the “mud” and pretend to enjoy it).

Between each special bath, it was requested that you step inside a special carbon freezing chamber - also known as the “Shower of 1,000 deaths.” After pressing a button, you were pelted in a thousand directions by cold jet sprays. This would effectively rinse you of the barnacles your body carried with it outside of the special bath. Wouldn’t want the aromatherapy to mix with the antifreeze, would we? After I had tried each bath at the spa, I decided it was time for me to throw in the towel. The massage was great, and the bathhouse was pretty cool. Dunno if I could do that on a regular basis, but it was certainly worth doing if only so I could write about it. I really don’t see myself as someone who will frequent public bathhouses all that often - but I should be signing up for a massage at least once a month.

Tags: hawaii, maui, mudbath, bathhouse, aromatherapy, spa, masseuse, bath, massage