I got a letter from Alan M. today that made me write this article. It pushed that button that I’m guessing every computer journalist has. It’s a Big Red Button labeled ‘It’s NOT MY ******** PROBLEM!’

Alan gave mine a good workout this morning by telling me in no uncertain terms that some software I’d reviewed recently was bloatware and that he wasn’t a fan of bloatware and how we, at Lockergnome, Really Ought To Fight Such Ungodly Software.

I politely (I think) pointed out to him that in relation to other modern software, it didn’t take up THAT much room and that the price of RAM having come down a little since the late ’80s, it was unlikely that such usage would get the majority of sane folks upset to a degree that would justify a Crusade Against Bloatware such as he thinks this program is. I agree, Alan, it’s not a great thing, but it’s been going on for years and isn’t likely to end any time soon.

I held on to what was left of my temper and didn’t blast back at him that, even though I had taken a look at the software and liked it, IT’S NOT MY SOFTWARE. I just review it. I don’t write it, I don’t sell it, and I sure as heck don’t make anything from it in any way that I can see. No, instead I write about software I come across by any of a lot of different means simply because I either like it and want to share it with the world or because I think it’s so bad that the best thing other people can do is stay away from it. That’s it. End of story.

In passing, let me just note that I enjoy finding good software much more than finding BAD software, so you’ll probably see a lot more good reviews than bad ones. There are plenty of programs out there that don’t meet my rather strict standards. I do have enough experience to sometimes see a diamond in the rough (like Qnext) and in those cases, I’ll recommend it to you, the readership, with a clear statement that it’s in beta. Anyone with any brains or even a mild amount of computer experience knows full well what that means. For the rest of you, it means that the product isn’t in a form that’s stable and finished enough to count as version 1.0. It may crash. It may cause problems on your system. It may burst into flames, for all I know. But, IT’S NOT MY ******* PROBLEM! Kindly refer problems to the program authors, just as if you knew the meaning of the term ‘beta.’

Oh, you can TELL me about the problem. And if something occurs to me, I may even try to help. What I probably won’t do is publish your complaint UNLESS I see enough cases to represent a trend of a problem. At that point, I’ll report it to all of you, so that you can be warned what to watch out for if you decide to try the software anyway. I think that’s reasonable.

And I’m a reasonable guy :)