How To Discipline Today’s Teens… Ten Punishments That Work

I love it! I hadn’t thought of some of them, but #1 gets used often!

You do understand that in some ways these are all just creating a reason to have a potentially permanent split from your teen! As a fifty plus yr old that has no children at home anymore these “punishments” may look good to you, BUT, if you talk to the homeless teens in any big city that are on drugs and selling themselves, most came from regular homes. You can easily create a situation in the home, by being a total jerk, that makes a reasonably rebellious teen into a runaway. PLEASE DO NOT DO ANYTHING YOU WILL REGRET LATER ! These “comments” by Steve may be amusing, they are not all actionable, the porn should be deleted, the use of the internet restricted, but please use caution and do not go overboard. If your teen is out of control get council from a professional, don’t just escalate ! Remember a teen brain is in the midst of “rewiring”, don’t cause them to wire themselves out of your life.

I personally like the idea of going into your child’s World of Warcraft account control and setting the parental controls to block usage for certain periods of time.

I am positive you could set it to block 24/7 periods of time.

The Parental Controls have their own password, so it is secure as long as you do not allow yourself to use your known passwords.

It’s along the lines of blocking the IP in the router.

Funny article, but back in real life, No.

Read Proverbs, in the bible. God gave you those kids and can help you raise them, if you’ll listen and learn. Of course, concepts from other books of the bible are very useful, but absorbing them requires a considerable investment in time and humility.

If that’s still not enough, read “Dare to Discipline” by Dr. Dobson. While that book is targeted to younger kids, the concepts (for those with agile minds) can be re-worked to apply to teenagers, also.

BTW, the reason the discipline above is guaranteed NOT to have any lasting impact is because it has the effect of petty vindictiveness, not loving correction and instruction.

In other words, you’re liable to make your children angrier rather than thoughtful.

Have an even simplier solution that will solve the problem with any teenager…don’t have kids in the first place. As long as you have yourself “fixed” or never get married or have a girlfriend/boyfriend…this is a non-issue.

Dogs & cats will love you no matter what & will never cause the issues even a toddler will cause you. Plus…they won’t need a PC or an IPod. Problem solved & you get peace of mind.

Ok, some of that stuff is just plain evil. Setting limitations and boundaries is one thing, but being malicious like that is just wrong. I have raised two teens, and making them your friends is far better an approach than making them your enemies.

Absolutely AWFUL suggestions! Punishments that work are immediate and short whereas these types of punishments are just massively stupid and destructive! These sound like the ideas of the idiot who throws away his child’s legos rather than simply confiscating them for awhile. I’ve seen this - the child doesn’t learn - he just learns to hate and do without. A child who respects his parents will probably hold their values when they’re not around. The child of an idiot like the author here will rebel against his warden in every way he can and exclude him from his life. Look elsewhere for parenting advice.

I love them! I searched creative punishments because I love to be creative. I have warned my son that he need not turn this in to a battle. i love him and he is a great kid. But I am NO JOKE. He should not dismiss me. I dont have tons of rules and none of my expectations are unreasonable. If we have a failure to communicate, I just have to try harder to get my point across. His most recent flirtation with irresponsibilty got him a 500 word paper on what it means to “be cool”, An analysis of virtues, translation of a list of virtues into Spanish, and a powerpoint presentation based on the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens. And while all of that was being worked on I changed his MySpace password and together we changed his MySpace headline to say “GROUNDED” Make rules you can enforce and make sure the punishments are felt! GO PARENTS!!

As much as I like the punishments listed, there are too many other places for my fiance’s teen to go where she can still abuse the heck out of whatever she wants. I don’t want to give up on her, but she has a “I don’t care”, “I’m not listening to either of you”, and “I am going to do whatever I want and there is nothing you can do about it” attitude. So any ideas would be appreciated.

Thanks,

JD

that is the stupidest thing i ever heard of in my life! (no offense) my parents would never do that to me (then again, me and my parents get along real good…..never fight……im kind of a goody two-shoes). i do whatever i want. you would have quite an asshole to do that to your kid. kids already have it pretty hard these days..believe me! and lots of kids are already depressed..its true……if you do that to them they will only not listen to you even more! they will hate you! personally…to settle out issues with your kids…i think you should all calmly talk to each other and maybe ask them if anything is bothering them or what the reason is why theyre doing whatever theyre doing. theres a reason for everything afterall! Talk calmly to them and figure a solution that will not only make you happy but them happy as well. Instead of doing cruel things that only will hurt them and you (because they will hate you for this and this will make your relationship worse)…..talk to them and settle out your differences. This way you will (hopefully) improve your relationship between you and your child………+ you wont do anything you may regret ! cause doing these 10 punishments to them is basicially bullying. Remember they are ready under alot of stress and peer pressure. life is extremely hard for teenagers..not easy

What are you kidding? Funny as a joke but in real life? Thats not discipline that’s bullying and any kid that’s subjected to it has every right to hack into YOUR account and add porn so your wife finds it!

Yes these are vile, disgusting ridiculous punishments. Of course there is not only the hate aspect of it all, but there are some of use out here, whom if you would have used that, would just up and kill you, you know? like murder? Believe me, I’ve tried. attempted to burn them to death three times, I thought the third time would have been a charm but apparently not. You should rethink your strategy, and deserve to be shot, stabbed, poisoned, burned, drawn and quartered, castrated, hung, and then finally ground into a salty, bloody pulp, under thousands of pounds of pressure, and to used as a puree, for a drink. For your sake I hope that isn’t your real name Steve. It could make for easy tracking and a perfect target.

These “parenting” techniques are highly suggested if you hope to have your child cut all ties with you when they reach the age of 18, if not sooner.

best of luck!

Wow, did someone actually quote the bible when it comes to parenting? You mean to say the same book which tells the niceties of selling your own daughter into sexual slavery and promotes stonings? I sincearly hope that this would never be used as a source for parenting help. Honestly the list is funny, and some of them a good idea, but most are just silly. Here’s an idea, hold kids responsible for their actions.

this is absurd and does not make any sense whatsoever

I would hate you if you were my parent.
Not respect.
Not even dislike.
Hate.

these are very very affective pushments i am a teen n i would stop misbehaving as soon as my parents did it 2 me not that i wont them 2 but they are surver and would definatly work

I think that a couple of the punishments are a little harsh, but I agree with some-the last one especially. I have a younger sister that I see going down the same path that I went on and I’m trying so hard to steer her from it. I actually suggested the last punishment “Take all their favorite clothes and donate them to the Salvation Army, leaving them only with uncool dress clothes”-but mainly for the purpose for her to clean up her wardrobe of all the shirts and skirts that are 3 sizes too small. I’m 20, married, and have a 13 month old baby-believe me, I wish my mom would have implemented certain punishments similar to these.

so i read the ways to discipline your children and i have a 13 year old brother. ou mother has tried all of those and nothing is working. and i mean NOTHING. she doesnt believe in spanking/hitting. he is always rude to her and we dont know what to do. anybody have any suggestions?

Spare the rod, spoil the child. It’s not your job to be your childs friend, it is your job to be their parent. Reward good behavior, punish bad behavior. Simple as that. BE CONSISTENT and FOLLOW THROUGH. An empty threat is useless. Here is an example of one disciplinary method I used with my teen (only had to do it once!):
My son decided to slam his bedroom door. I calmly walked into his room and explained that if he slammed ANY door again, that I would remove his bedroom door all together. I explained that this would eliminate all of his privacy and to seriously think about it. He decided to test me and slammed his door again. I simply and calmly acquired the hammer and screwdriver, removed the pins from the door hinges and took his door. It remained off until he demonstrated nothing but good behavior for a consecutive 2 weeks. Needless to say, he earned his door back and has never slammed a door again.
I have many creative and effective methods such as this that have not failed to yield the correct results.
I also reinforce good behavior from my son with “surprise” rewards. I do not allow him to expect something for every good deed he does, but rather, occassionally I will give him a “surprise” for having done so well.
I hope that this helps!

this is ridicuous. There are ways to punish your teen without ruining their life. A more acurate title for this webpage would be “Ways to make your teenager hate you.” REMEMBER: YOUR TEENAGER IS STILL LEARNING. GIVE THEM A CHANCE TO LEARN THEIR LESSON BEFORE YOU JUMP TO SUCH DRAMATIC PUNISHMENTS.

Steve,
First of all are you a parent?
If things that were important to you were taken or given away how would you react?
Imagine you are about to sit down and watch some sporting event final only to realize the T.V. no longer works. You discover your partner has eliminated access to the channel. How do you feel? How do you react? Does this work? Probably not.
Your suggestions show traits of a contoling person.
The only thing that you will achieve by carrying through these actions is more resistance and major disrespect of you as a person, in the eyes of your child. What I believe everyone in this world needs are courses on good communication skills and these should be taught throughout school just like a math or English class.
Remember the very important life saying, “treat others the way you wish to be treated.”

hey i thought that those ideas are mean and embarasment is NOT the way to go especially the take all there cool cloths to leave them with uncool cloths or change thier myspace tops to really dorky people then change thier password is mean and it should not be used on your teen and the delete all your contacts thing is stupid because the people that they call most often ya they have thier numbers memorized

The fact that so many parents think the ideas are awful must mean they will work. I am a parent of 3 teenagers. And just the threat alone of wiping out a saved game was enough for my son…I didnt have to do it. The other parents state that the teen will hate you for it, not learn from it, and we would not want to be treated that way. But think of how You(parent) are being treated when your teen is not where they say they are, not respecting household rules…The purpose of discipline is to change the negative behavior. Kids have to recognize that all those things are priviledges not rights. When you mis behave you lose priviledges. Since when do they have a ‘right’ to MySpace?

Some of those ideas are not effective. I am trying to win my daughter not lose her. I want her to know that I am the parent but also see me as a freind. We have to take into consideration that -yes, them teenagers have it hard–at school, home and everywhere else. We have to discipline them with love. I have a teenage daughter who is giving me a hard time. I am finding ways to reach her –so the ideas above will never work.

Claudia

I don’t think that these are cause for the children to hate you as a parent. If I acted the way that my kids do I would have had everything taken from me, and gotten a firm smack on the bottom. I didn’t get all of these luxuries that they have and neither did our parents they turned out alright, they had you and your searching for ways to help your kids.. I have 4 children 1-12. I am not their birth parents they abandoned them with me. These kids know what it is like to have nothing, have everything and have it taken away from bad behavior, they dont’ care what I take away but can see why I take it when I give it back. All this in tow they still don’t try, listen to me, or have respect for me. Before these kids lived with me and had nothing; they did everything I asked of them, large or small. Now that they live with me I can’t get them to do anything I say. We have tried every single suggestion for encouraging good decisions with these kids and got nothing in return. The only thing that works are these ” cruel and hateful punishments” above, even then they aren’t great. I took them to the country and they had nothing no TV, phone game systems and they survived and will continue to survive when they misbehave and I take it again. I agree if so many parents think they are horrible then there must be something right. Being a childs friend isn’t being their leader; we are supposed to lead and teach these kids to be better people. kids have too much stuff. I also feel I should throw it in there that I am 26, not 60.

Most of the punishments here are a good idea….if you want to make your children hate you.
Completely block their Internet access for a x days using your router.
-A good idea, basically a grounding.

Delete all their MP3s off their computers and iPod.
-Horrid, basically the equivalent of taking their money and running it through a shredder.

Delete their saved games off of their Xbox, PlayStation, etc.
-Imagine working on a hobby of yours, say re-building an old car, and you’ve finally fixed it up when someone comes along with a baseball bat and smashes in the doors, bust the windows, and steals the engine. You could always start again but there’s no way your getting back those days of your life that you spent working on it.

Delete all their ringtones and contacts off their cell phone.
-Pointless, they can easily be regained.

Delete their porn collection on their computer. Yes, even your child has one.
-Should be done, even if it’s not a punishment.

Sell their iPod, game consoles, and/or camera on eBay and use the cash to buy something for yourself that they won’t enjoy.
-Bad idea, unless you want them to hate you, and if they spent their own money on it, that’s theft which is illegal.

Sell their car and make them ride a bicycle, or worse, public transportation.
-See above. Could just as easily not let them use their car.

Edit their MySpace profile and put Mom, Dad, Grandparents, and all their siblings in their Top 8. Delete all other friends except maybe ugly/unpopular ones. Then change their password so they can’t switch it back.
- A great form of Idenity Theft, also Illegal.

When their friends call, pretend you’re getting them, then say, “___ said s/he will call you back after s/he’s finished watching his/her favorite 7th Heaven episode for the third time today.”
-So what, they watch 7th Heaven and their addicted. Maybe a few laughs from their friends, at the most.

Take all their favorite clothes and donate them to the Salvation Army, leaving them only with uncool dress clothes.
-Dumb. You just love wasting money, don’t you.

Actually, several of these items were suggested to me by a theropist to deal with my teenage daughters actions.

So i wouldn’t be so quick to judge (at least not on all of them)

I enjoyed reading this, it made me laugh. These punishments wouldn’t work on my teen - he doesn’t have an iPod, Xbox, mobile phone, MP3 or his own internet access. He doesn’t have a social networking site page like My Space. At 15 he still climbs trees, plays with toy cars, swordfights with sticks, wades in rivers, cooks over a campfire and only occasionally plays on his DS Lite or watches a video/dvd (no live TV in our house) only if the weather is too bad to outside or if it’s too late. We’ve only ever had one serious infraction we had to punish and then we stopped his pocket money for a month and took his DS away for a month and gave him extra chores. He agreed he deserved the punishment and was great about it. We don’t really have any rebelliousness from him at all (yet?) and certainly no ‘don’t care’ attitude, he’s polite respectful well mannered, spends family time with us, I guess we’re lucky how he is, I think it’s alot to do with our traditional family lifestyle (EVERY meal at the table together, homeschooling, family discussions regularly to air any problems, family chores together, lots of family outings etc.) I don’t think I seriously agree with most of these suggested punishments (agree with the first one certainly) but I did enjoy reading the list!

Ha, umm yeah wow, my parents wouldnt do any of this to me..so umm, wow dude…thats like freakin stupid to sell all of their stuff to ebay,,bt im just a teenager that apparently needs better punishment like my parents getting on my msyapce and delteting all my friends and pputting my parents and stuff on my top, Um wow? parents cant get on people profiles if they dont know tha passwords..so um yeah..u shoukda thought that onee throo.cuz if my parents did any of thisd to me (except for tha first one,its reasonable) then i would pretty much hate them. so umm yeah,all stupid things to do,except for tha first oneits reasonable-ish..
Stupiiddddddd.,
-Teenage person

Some of these methods may work, specially the first few which are very smart. But the rest are terrible. Humiliating you child (last 3 methods) is unacceptable regardless of the circumstance. It will create rage and anger inside your child which may lead to worse behaviors in the near and far future.

Here’s an example for all you who think this is a bad idea.

Teen : Marcus Flint (false name)

Age: 17

Problem: Telling parents ” NO ” and locking himself in his room, smoking tobacco/weed, lying to parents and official officers, under house arrest for burglary, theft, and more, Ignores orders/requests for help from parents, goes out and plays with friends after lying to officers saying he’s “going out to work at someone’s house”, and has no fear of punishments and thinks he has away out of everything.

Sounds to me like these punishments fit just fine for him.

Being a teens friend is great and all but they lose the sense of security you are suppose to provide and thus force them to look elsewhere for that secure feeling, often leading to an environment that they should never have to be in. Being a teens parent is better and more effective, given, these punishments should be toned down, like the deleting of all saved games on their system will more than likely cause a very aggressive and dangerous reaction, simply taking the system and putting in a place they cannot get to is a better solution.

In the most extreme cases, their room should consist of nothing more than a Dresser for clothes, a bed with blanket (pillow optional), and an alarm clock without radio, the door should lock on the outside and the windows superglued shut and be too small to climb through. Again this is in the most extreme cases, i would NOT suggest this even for Marcus Flint (above). Make sure to feed them and let them use the restroom periodically as required by law.(you can learn the requirements online).

here’s some rewrites,

1: Good enough leave alone

2: Take and hide the iPod/ Iphone/ etc. in a place they can’t find it, Desk at work/ in a safe, etc/ Not theft if the teens are still in your house and you are legal parent or guardian, even if bought with their own money from a job.

3: Worse idea: Use same idea as #2 Take it and hide it for a period of time, works great with my teens and does not cause violent behavior.

4: Take the cell phone or make them pay for the entire thing by themselves. They want to use they can pay for it. If they don’t want to pay or cannot they can live without it then.

5: Should be done anyways, and put up some content blockers, with a password would be good.

6: This is a good one, it’s not theft as i said as you are the owner of it even if they paid for it as long as they are under legal age and live under your roof AND you are legal parent or guardian, HOWEVER!!!! this can lead to aggressive behavior so again, just hide it. Also giving it away to friends is stupid as your child will just get it back from them later.

7: GREAT IDEA, Though selling it may be a little harsh, simply removing key parts it will suffice, like the engine, tires, steering wheel and seats.

8: Okay this is funny, it’s not identity theft, because on myspace you can be anyone, I’m a camel, alien and a 99year old college student. This is a great one and will hardly make them hate you, they can tell all their friends they got hacked so it makes it kinda useless, deleting it may be better, or better yet restrict access to the site all together.

9: Good, but could be better, 7th heaven is considered one of the worst shows by today’s teens, but something like Mighty Boosh, Tim & Eric awesome show good job, Drinky Crow show, Barney, Teletubbies, Carebears, Dora the explorer, Feel better about yourself show, Praise the lord (FYI not a christian show), Pee Wee’s Playhouse, Dragon Tales, Mr. men show, Etc. would be much, much more effective.

10: Good but make sure to buy them some new Clothes that say things like “Momma Sweetheart”, and “Daddy’s little slugger”, “Daddy’s girl/boy” etc.

and one from me personally,

11: want them to behave, drive them to school one day (let them sleep in and wave the bus on) When u get to school “drop the off”, find a place to park go inside, find what class he/she’s in, find them walk in, and hand them a paper bag saying something like, ” Sweetykins, you forgot your lunch that I packed for you, and don’t forget
Mommy always loves her sweet, little baby boy/girl.” then walk over and give them a big kiss on the forhead.
If your the father, same deal but change it to sound less like your gay and more like you still think of them as a baby. you know you’ve done your job well when everyone starts laughing.

Now you’re going to say that will just make them mad, you are right. When they come home asking what that was all about say, if you ever act up again like you have before i’ll make sooooo much worse next time. And should they ever act up like they have been:
Diapers
Pacifier
Comb
Baby bottle
Bib
and rattle

Bring those and repeat “Honeybear, you forgot to wear your diaper I laid out for you this morning, you don’t want to have another accident do you? I also brought you your rattle and a bib in case u make a mess at lunch while eating and drinking from your bottle.” While handing him/her the stuff one item at a time as you mention it, Then give them a big hug and kiss and ask the class to make sure he finishes the whole bottle before the end of lunch. this sounds mean but you are just keeping your promise, after this you shouldn’t have any more problems.

!!!!!-> Be sure to make it clear that was not the worse you could do to them and if they act up again it will get worse still.

Okay after reading some of these it seems like you parents are trying to be friends and leaders but are not capable of seeing the damage you do to your kids like this. Forget being friends, YOU NEED to be the PARENT! THEY HAVE FRIENDS ALREADY! GIVE THEM A PARENT, YOU KNOW SOMETHING YOU CAN’T GET ONLINE OR AT THE MALL GET IT?! If not maybe kids was the wrong way to go for you and may the gods help you and your poor child, but you might be able to be a good parent if you are lucky and know how to actually be a parent. Oh By the way if your mad at me right now, then I am right and you should just give up, go home and cry about it to your kid who’ll never know what having a real parent will be like. Embarrassment works great, I agree with what Bob says. though here’s the order in which you should use the punishments.

1: Sit you kid down at a table and explain the rules, Actions have consequences, not just the bad ones, but good ones too.
If they misbehave the get a bad consequence, should they behave well, they get good consequences.

Example: Staying out late after curfew, not allowed to go outside for a week with friends or to any local agthering site, mall, park etc.

Repeat offence: extended punishment.

Good behavior: Home early and with a good attitude,
gets to stay out later with friends next week.

It will set in soon enough give it about a week or two.

2: Enforce those rules: TO NOT LET THEM HAVE A WARNING THAT WAS STEP 1!

They have now broken the rule they get the punishment they know is coming.

The punishment should fit the crime, My parents used this one all the time.

Bad language out, bad food in.

In other words they fed my nothing but food that tasted nasty but was healthy, so no laws were broken but I never swore loudly enough to be heard again.
(if you think you can stop a swearing child altogether think for a second, did you ever stop? If so, why? use that on your child and share it with us too, please? lol!)

3: If they still misbehave it’s time for the big guns.
Meet with a specialist, someone to help understand the child and why they are acting in such a way. They can help and are sometimes cheap but not always.

The punishment listed here are good but should be saved for like a teen who breaks something of yours, on purpose not accident, out of anger or does something similar, in other words on very rare occasions with extreme behavior present. shouting in public, fighting back (either against you or another). And that therapy does not help. If you don’t want the therapy or cannot afford it, go with the toned down version of the punishments Bob described.

These are great ideas but should definately be used as threats first letting the child know what will happen if they misbehave, Maybe not being so extreme, at first but promising that it will happen if they misbehave. Before you ask if i’m a parent, the answer is no I am not a parent, I am a teenager, IF my parents told me this would be the punishment for misbehaving, I promise you i’d be better behaved than the children at the end of Mary Poppins, or Nanny Macfee. Given some rewards for my good behavior would be nice and would more than likely want me to keep in contact with my parents after I leave.

So you parents who say these are bad ideas more than likely have not dealt with todays teens, If you think teens today are anything like they were even 12 years ago, you are sadly mistaken. Sex is like going to the movies, doesn’t really matter who, or when. Just that you’ve been there and plan to go back. Hacking a computer now is like being able to benchpress the lead quarter back twice over in like 1950 or something. If you can do it you are pretty much promised sex. Drugs are like candy, most people want it and most people have it, of course teens also have ways of hiding it, A friend of mine drinks like a stereotypical Irishman, A little make-up, some scope mouth wash, and a few pills and she is basically sober again after a meeting with Jack Daniels or Sam Adams.

If your child plays video games when you tell him not to, then take away the video games for a week to a month. Don’t destroy all of their hard work and effort. This is an effective threat, but only to extreme behavior (btw, always carry out threats if the rule is broken again) . Anyways, the author seems like the kind of person who doesn’t really carry out punishment until the last minute because he’s the type of person who likes to keep to himself. Then his kid pushes his buttons one day and he ends up utilizing a horribly humorous punishment that leaves the kid frusturated and violated. I mean, it’s one thing to lay out boundries, it’s another thing to go out of your way to humurously make the kid’s life miserable.