Now that it’s 2010, or so I hear, the greeting card companies have to get with the times and put out some up to date cards. Off the top of my head, here are a few suggestions:
- Gee, Sorry You Got Herpes (or the more pointed Sorry I Gave You Herpes)
- Apparently internet dating ain’t what you thought it was…
- Bummer about your candidate card (sent to libertarians every four years)
- the all-purpose Sarah Palin card (open it up, there’s nothing inside)
- the What’s Four Feet of Snow Between Friends card
- Sorry I Finished Too Fast card
- the Obama card (promises money inside but it just costs a lot more)
- Mac card (elegant cover, overpriced, requires Steve Jobs’ permission to sign)
- the Dick Cheney card (now with anthrax)
- the Sorry I Boinked Your Daughter card
- the Windows card (you have to keep re-signing it)
- the Newt Gingrich card (it’s a Christmas card – no, it’s a Hanukkah card!)
- Sorry I was Wearing Your Underwear card
- the Snuggie card (it’s a regular card, you doofus)
- the Race card (it’s because I’m white, isn’t it?)
