What Ubuntu Should Put in Intractable Igloo

Over at Tux Geek, there’s an interesting post containing suggestions for the next version of Ubuntu.  I don’t necessarily agree with them but it’s always nice to read what other people think.  It’s worth checking out.

Being completely, almost genetically unable to let things be, I felt it necessary to contribute my own

LIST OF THINGS UBUNTU NEEDS TO MAKE THEIR NEXT RELEASE SUCCESSFUL.

  1. Celebrity Endorsements: just imagine how popular Ubuntu would become if some mindless famous person was seen using it.  Paris Hilton comes to mind, but she can’t use anything more complicated than a pocketbook.  Maybe a Cindy Crawford, Sandra Bullock, or the cast of Cheating Hollywood Housewives of Chattanooga.
  2. What don’t the other distros offer?  Dog training.
  3. Ubuntu No-Bullshit Edition: no Flash, javascript, Compiz, system sounds, or KDE4
  4. Anything but that hideous brown – PLEASE
  5. detects nearby Windows boxes and sends laughing packets to it
  6. Better code names for future releases.
  7. Spokesmodels!  (with pizza and beer)
  8. nifty Ubuntu iron-on and pocket protector
  9. Win Shuttleworth’s car!
  10. massive tax breaks!