Ok, folks, I’ve about had it and the election season is only beginning. I’ve had it with fools and idiots in government. The kleptocracy must be given a pink slip. The liars and thieves need to be tried for treason and removed.
I am hoping that the threat of me running for president will frighten Ron Paul into the spot.
I give you the leftystrat platform:
- tax breaks for the left-handed
- I stand for the Constitution and each of its amendments – so will those under me
- the environment? I’m for it.
- DUI’s: breathalyzer by the side of the road. If guilty – death. Same for child molesters.
- No `free speech zones.’ But you had better not block doors or streets.
- The Federal Reserve is neither federal nor a reserve. Bye!
- no more corporate welfare
- no more unending social welfare or unemployment
- reduce government by at least 80%
- abolish the income tax – we pay too many taxes already
- bring our soldiers home from everywhere – it’s none of our business
- decriminalize drugs and suicide – it’s none of the government’s business
- one topic per-bill legislation: no added items, no pork
- no more money to other countries. Not one $%*#ing cent.
- Personal Responsibility. Got it?
In my first year, I will:
- force Congress to obey the first amendment by stopping led prayer before each session
- have Congress pick from two HMO’s for their healthcare and pay for it
- anybody named Bush or Clinton will have to pick up around the House for their pension
- bring back paper voting (and locate people who can count)
- reassign the NSA to going after spammers (we’ll throw them in Guantanamo)
- halt all random police stops – use the manpower to go after people who don’t use their turn signals
- appoint a national bird: Adriana Lima
- fine businesses that charge more for lefty products
- invite Alex Jones and Jeff Beck to the White House
- pay off national debt by contest – winner takes a shot at Cheney
- White House Spokesmen: Matt and Trey from South Park
- if Congress wants a chaplain, they have to pay for him themselves
- tell the truth about 9-11 and ufo’s
- Foreign Minister: Andrew Dice Clay
- No bottle opener? Hey Condi…..
…more to come….
If by some strange circumstance I got into office, I’d be dead within thirty days. Possibly thirty seconds.