The Pre-Thanksgiving Royal Gorge

This year, I have resumed a tradition I had observed only twice before. I suppose the “Pre-Thanksgiving Royal Gorge” is a fitting title; allow me to explain it in further detail.

The Tuesday before Thanksgiving, I feast upon the carcasses of dead livestock. That is, I gorge myself; mostly on meat. I stuff myself to the point where it becomes difficult to walk. This causes my stomach to grow in response to the need for greater capacity.

Wednesday, I fast (See tomorrow’s post, “The Fast and the Furious”). This empties the contents of my stomach, as most food is fully digested within 24-36 hours. This leaves me with a larger, empty stomach for the Thankgsgiving feast.

What makes the gorging royal? I’m a Lord of Sealand. Thus, all parts of the title are in place, and I call it the Pre-Thanksgiving Royal Gorge. Plus, it’ll get me more GoogleJuice for the term “Royal Gorge”.

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Today’s feast came in two parts (I call them Part 1 and Part 2, respectively.

Part 1: Golden Corral
I arrived about 15 minutes before they closed. They closed at 9PM, despite the website claiming they were open until 10PM. I stopped at four plates, as the food was getting old and was no longer being replenished.

I had two kinds of Steak, Green Bean Casserole x2, Sweet Potato Casserole, Burbon Chicken x2, rolls x2, and several other courses I don’t remember.

Obviously, they stop making food when they close. Eventually it got old and nasty, so I left.

Part 2: Applebee’s
16oz New York Strip Steak (They were out of Ribeye), Mozzarella Sticks, French Onion Soup, Mashed Potatoes and Gravy, Cheesy Spinach

I can now say I’m royally gorged. Tomorrow I fast.