Eyeware Purchased, Pending Installation

So today we went to Lenscrafters and J and D pressured me into buying new glasses. Not a damn thing wrong with the old ones, but they insist I need to be more stylish.

So I go through the eye tests:
- They make me read letters. Okay, I knew that one was coming.
- They shoot air at me.
- They make me read light-green letters on a teal background to make sure I’m not colorblind.
- They take pictures of my corneas. The flash blinds me for a few seconds; then they warn me that bright light can cause temporary blindness.
- They run the “One, two” test on different refraction indices.
- They make me pay twice because the people who test eyes aren’t the same company.
- They make me look into a giant hollow egg and press a button when a flash of white light occurs anywhere within my field of vision.

So I pick a frame. More accurately, they pick a frame and I just go along with it because I can’t see any difference except these frames are smaller and thus provide less field of vision. The frames are ungodly expensive.

So I pick the lenses. They’re half off, but still cost more than an autographed photo of Jesus. All in all, I paid $400 for a pair of glasses when there was nothing wrong with my old ones, and I still have to wait up to two weeks. It used to be I’d pay $100 and have them in an hour. What has happened to this country?