Red State Blue State Blues
First, it was Harry Smith with his song on The Early Show. Next it was the huge maps in red, pink, grey, light blue, and blue to show where the race might be going, and now someone has gotten an idea from the Palin household – secession. It’s an idea whose time has come. (I’d give proper credit, but this was sent to me in an e-mail with no clue as to the author)
An Alternative to Moving to British Columbia Should Barack Obama Lose Dear Red States, We’ve decided we’re leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we’re taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren’t aware, that includes Hawaii, California, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, New York, and all of the Northeastern states. After this election, we’ll be adding Colorado and New Mexico. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, especially to the people of our new country – Nuevo California. To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states; we get stem cell research, the best beaches, and the best ski resorts. We get the Statue of Liberty; you get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft; you get WorldCom. We get Stanford, Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Cal Tech, MIT and Columbia; you get Ole’ Miss. We get 85 percent of America’s venture capital and entrepreneurs; you get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue; you get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than that of the Christian Coalition, we get a bunch of happy families and you get a bunch of under-educated single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we’ll need all of our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They apparently have kids they’re willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don’t mind if you don’t televise their kid’s caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq and hope that those Weapons of Mass Destruction turn up for you, but we’re not willing to spend any more of our money in Bush’s Quagmire. With the Blue States, we will control 80 percent of the country’s fresh water, 90 percent of pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation’s fresh fruit, 97 percent of America’s quality wines (you can serve French wines at your state dinners), 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, and all the Ivy League and Seven Sister schools. We also get New England, the Great Lakes and Yosemite, thank you very much. In the Red States, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, 100 percent of tornadoes, 94 percent of hurricanes, 99 percent of Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, and Clemson. Additionally, in the Red States, 38 percent of you actually believe Jonah was swallowed by a whale; 62 percent believe life is sacred unless it involves the death penalty or gun ownership; 44 percent claim that evolution is only a theory; 53 percent insist that Saddam Hussein was involved in 9/11; and 61 percent of you ignorantly believe you have higher moral standards than those of us on the left. Peace out, The Blue States
My kids have mentioned moving to Canada more than once to me. By the way, they are 13 and 18, and as I have said before, I had never mentioned this to them, and I find it amazing, because, when I grew up, I never gave anything like this a thought. If things don’t change, it might come to this – there needs to be some reconciliation soon…
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Technorati Tags: red state – blue state – no middle ground – moving to Canada – election day trips


18 Comments
Cliffystones
October 31st, 2008
at 3:52am
I believe that the late Robert Heinlein said it best. He believed that we only had one right in life, the right to be “left alone”. He was (as I am) neither a Liberal nor a “neo-con” but a true Libertarian.
Neo-cons believe in free-trade, but without a level playing field. Just ship your jobs overseas and take advantage of the cheap (read-SLAVE) labor.
The Liberal idea of “spreading the wealth around” as Obama so elegantly put it, usually involves a whole lot of hidden “middle-men” who skim their cut off of the pot, resulting in pennies on the dollar actually getting to those who truly need it.
Canada? Not nearly far enough! Even if we could get to the moon, I’m quite sure someone would find a way to try to interfere with our lives.
And BTW Oracle, I visited Hawaii last August. I found out that Hawaii doesn’t produce much pineapple anymore. Another victim of “high labor costs” It seems that the 8-10 bucks an hour they paid the Hawaiians was way too steep, when they could move the operations to the Philippines/Malaysia and pay that much for a weeks work!
under-educated single mom
October 31st, 2008
at 4:31am
If this is what Obama inspires in Americans,God help us all.
the oracle
October 31st, 2008
at 9:53am
Cliffystones , I’m not sure if I can go the full Libertarian way, although I would be signed up as one if I could vote unencumbered in the primaries (such is the way California runs the primary process).
The trouble I see with people who are so exceedingly vehement about these beliefs is that they (from my experience) tend to be exactly like the free market Republicans who want no restrictions on the market, and no government interference, until they screw it up so much that the government is the only entity large enough to try to repair the mess. As I’ve said, most of the marketeers should have been let sink, and the idiots who signed up for sub-prime mortgages should have to face the music. These groups are both supposed to be comprised of adults.
the oracle
October 31st, 2008
at 9:56am
under-educated single mom – not sure what to amke of this, either the comment, or the moniker.
Perhaps you would like to further elucidate us.
NotImpressed
October 31st, 2008
at 10:02am
What a screed. Rantings from a closed and bigoted mind.
under-educated single mom
October 31st, 2008
at 11:03am
I was referring to the derogatory remarks made about what would be left for Rep states in the (satirical)event Dem states pulled out and formed their own country_We get the Statue of Liberty; you get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft; you get WorldCom. We get Stanford, Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Cal Tech, MIT and Columbia; you get Ole’ Miss.We get a bunch of happy families and you get a bunch of under-educated single moms.
He goes on and on,In the Red States, you will have 88 percent of all obese Americans and their health care costs, 99 percent of Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, and Clemson.
He missed it on the French wine though,duh-we have our own ‘moonshine’ operations here in the South.
Chase
October 31st, 2008
at 2:40pm
I think the net result would be that the Blue States, with all of their “problems”. would be more productive, more secure, and happier than the Red States with all of their socialistic platitudes. The Reds would form a giant commune with serious infighting about whose money they would redistribute. Their welfare services would be overburdened by the welfare expatriates who would desert the Blues ASAP to join their bleeding heart benefactors. Their liberal academia would blame the Blues for “kicking out” the Reds using their usual method of rewriting history. Good riddance from the Blues.
the oracle
October 31st, 2008
at 4:33pm
under-educated single mom – the author is, however, geographically correct about the assets of the various domains.
the oracle
October 31st, 2008
at 4:34pm
NotImpressed – no matter what your take on it, most would agree that the baisc facts are there.
under-educated single mom
November 1st, 2008
at 8:33am
Geographically correct for the most part.I don’t really believe the red states have a monopoly on under-educated single moms.
There are a lot of us single Moms working our butts off to send our kids to Clemson..should we feel inferior because they aren’t going to Stanford, Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Cal Tech, MIT or Columbia rather than pride in working hard to provide a better education?
The Statue of Liberty was a gift from the people of France to the “people of the United States”,not N.Y. or Democrats.
I can concede that,for the most part,this is geographically correct ‘Rantings from a closed and bigoted mind’.
Capt. Obvious
November 1st, 2008
at 9:38am
It’s no coincedence that the Blue States are about 50% wealthier than the Red, per capita. Our system is just better, both socially and economically. However, maybe secession is too extreme how about we just pass a law that says no state can receive more federal dollars than it contributes. Then let the flyover states degrade into the third world status that their “real America” thinking will lead them to. Then see how they feel about the”evils” of income redistribution.
under-educated single mom
November 1st, 2008
at 1:55pm
Finally one thing I can agree to wholeheartedly_ “we just pass a law that says no state can receive more federal dollars than it contributes”.
Still don’t agree with ’spreading the wealth’.Penalizing small companies who create new jobs to give me & millions of others a $500 tax refund?No thanks,I work for what I have.
Besides,hard to find that new car eluded to on the campaign trail for $500-even here in the slums of SC.
the oracle
November 2nd, 2008
at 6:56am
under-educated single mom,
although your sense of fair play is laudable, by sticking to the idea that no more tax dollars can come back than go out, you ultimately limit the areas that are red to being poorer, less well developed, and subsequently less desirable for anyone (either tourist or manufacturer wishing to relocate) to visit.
Also, not to be obsequious, but you working hard to get your kids better educated is wonderful – but I also believe that a better level of opportunity (and perhaps also education) is available from any of the blue state schools (and I’m not defending this, but when was the last corporate CEO, or Senator, or President, noted for being from Texas A&M, or FSU?)
the oracle
November 2nd, 2008
at 7:04am
Capt. Obvious,
while I believe that the result of this secession would produce the results described, it is not the least bit desirable.
As Barack Obama has said (more than a few times) we are supposed to be a United States of America. Also, when Obama, and other Democrats, speak of spreading the wealth, they are not talking about total redistribution, but an even shot, in the beginning of life. That evenness would allow ‘under-educated single mom’s’ children to aspire, and get to Harvard or CalTech if they desired and were mentally able to – it doesn’t mean the economic equivalent of letting the cretins (true cretins – IQ 70 or less) take up spaces at Harvard and CalTech, just to be equitable.
Charles is Downtown
November 4th, 2008
at 8:50am
“Give me your tired, your poor
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me”
No, the Statue of Liberty was not given to the Democrats but I bet there’s more than a few in Redville that would find these words unacceptable as an immigration policy.
the oracle
November 10th, 2008
at 5:20pm
Charles is Downtown – how true!
Amazing too, since Caucasians will be a minority soon – it will be interesting to see what happens. I am hoping that greater tolerance, shown by the election, and a need for greater harmony, will win out.
Thanks for the comment.
Happy Halloween my Fellow Geeks ~ Chris Pirillo
December 3rd, 2008
at 9:59pm
[...] What color is your state? [...]
the oracle
December 4th, 2008
at 2:51pm
Chris , California is BLUE, though I live in a RED(neck) county.