That sucks. Need to do something about these bastards. :-/

If it’s legal wherever you are, I’d get a hand-tazer. Anyone gets too fresh, give ‘em 12,000 volts. :)

I agree…. and for what it’s worth today, you ARE heard.. I cannot imagine that there will be many women who will read this and NOT hear it, loud and clear.

I make it a practice NOT to have strange men in my house when my hubby isn’t home. He makes the same fuss that your brother did, but I still insist. I’m labled as paranoid usually, but I don’t care. I will not let repairmen of any kind here, even if just to give an estimate, if hubby can’t be home. I’ve been where you are/were. It’s not fun, nor is it worth the risk.

I’d suggest that if he’s working for someone, call them, if not, write a dear editor letter mentioning his business specifically and contact the better business bureau and police station in your area. Remember, if he’s gotten this frisky with you, imagine what he does with the little ole ladies that cannot defend themselves, or the families that leave their teens home to “let the furnace guy in”!!! Chances are that if you speak up loudly enough you WILL be heard, if not by your brother, by enough people that he’ll be out of business at least.

My best to you….love your blog….
I’ll link to yours now that mine is up and running!!

Debora

Didn’t Mom/Dad teach you what to do to Men(Boy in this guys case)that make unwanted or improper advances ?? A quick knee to the boys will cool his jets fast.

Not in any order they will cry for Mommy and mess up your nice clean rug(details not necessary).

40-year old married Dad of two speaking here, and I’m hearing you too.

“he manhandled me and held my hand even after I tried to pull away.”

Without even knowing the particulars of what “manhandled” means here, what you’re describing what may actually be termed “assault.” If you told him to stop and he didn’t, even just the holding your hand part, then there’s no question of that.

No F’in’ way I’d ever tell my wife to just “let the guy in,” and I have to say that your brother and Deborah’s husband are both idiots on this one, if that’s their position. And if what you describe happened to my wife, I’d be in a (non-religious) righteous rage…as your brother *SHOULD* be feeling and doing something about for you now. (I practically feel that myself, and I don’t even know your name).

Bill’s suggestion sounds gutsy, but I think Deborah’s is the one to follow here. Seriously. (No offence, Bill.) And next time, make sure your brother comes along for the visit as well. Not as your brother, but as your landlord. I’m sure you have a legal right to that as well.

Thanks for all the comments. I wouldn’t likely report it to the police. I don’t think they would want to do anything about it, or have the time to.

The guys who suggested using force don’t understand that when you’re not a guy who can fight back it’s not a good idea to start something physical. I like the idea of pepper spray and tasers but in reality they won’t work because it would be too easy for them to be taken away and used against me. Also, it’s hard for me to intentionally hurt someone. It would take me time to think and work up courage to do anything like that.

The only thing I could think to do was suggest he phone my brother (about the furnace) as a way of reminding him that I have a brother and he is supposed to be there getting a job where my brother would be his client. That seemed to help as he did back off a bit and only kissed my hand and bugged me about coming over for web design lessons.

I may have finally said yes to that only because he wasn’t letting me say anything else. I tried all kinds of subtle no’s. I didn’t feel I could come right out and directly say no or stop. Lots of things were going through my mind but most of all I knew I was alone and would have to deal with whatever he did right then by myself. So, I kept him from getting angry.

Anyway, he said he would phone and he hasn’t so far. In a week from now if he hasn’t phoned I will feel better. It’s icky that he has my address and phone number. The other guy (another contractor) who came to look at the furnace was very pleasant and didn’t touch me at all. He just came to look at the furnace. He got the job too because my brother was impressed by his knowledge and the fact that I didn’t ban him from ever crossing the threshold again. :)

I can’t believe what I’m reading! I am a 43-year-old male with a wife and four kids (two being daughters). It’s a standing policy in my home that NO male comes in my home (that’s not related) if I’m not there or at least that my wife is not home alone.

I can’t believe the attitude of some males, like your brother. I would take my sister’s word for it with no hesitation. I would do anything in my power to protect the women in my life. Maybe the men that don’t take this seriously are deluded enough to think that most men are “nice” guys. Sorry, but I’m a male and I know whereof I speak. MOST men are lust filled beasts that should be kept at an arms length. The only reason I’m not in that category (any more) is because of my faith.

Most men are not going to have the guts to act on their sex drives in a situation like this. But why take that chance? Hormones are a powerful motivator to misbehave. It’s just better not to put yourself in a position where either you or the other party can be tempted to misbehave.

I have to agree with the other posts about using force though. You may be non-violent but please realize that your LIFE could be on the line. If it ever happens again, please drum up the strength to kick, scratch, scream, punch, bite, electro-shock, etc. Maybe even something a simple as one of those horns used in sporting events. Whatever it takes to keep you from becoming a victim, or worse a statistic.

I live in New York State, and I think our state law says that if there is any act of physical sexual force without mutual consent, it is considered rape.

I know I came on strong, but I really beleive what I’ve said. I hope you are never faced with this problem again.

My only comment is regarding subtle no’s. Subtlety doesn’t enter the equation at that point. Rather than reminding him you have a brother, you should have gone to the phone to call him, on the pretext that you need to check in now that the repairman has arrived. It would also give you an opportunity to communicate to both your brother and the jerk that there is a problem. While your brother may not understand after the fact, I’m sure that if you are on the phone at the time and explaining what this guy is doing at the time he was doing it, he would feel a bit different.

I also understand your not wanting to try to deal with him physically. It’s in our makeup as guys to look for that type of solution when confronted, but we forget that women in many (obviously not all) cases aren’t able to win a physical battle if it comes down to it.

I know you learned a lesson in this, and I am equally glad you were able to share it with others.

Stumbled on this site quite by acccident–I was supposed to be studying!

I am a male, married, father of 3, very protective… and appalled at what you had to deal with! I worry about my wife and kids, try to be there for them or at least provide for them a safe situation… so sorry no one was there for you.

I hope you are OK and don’t have to deal with this low-life in the future!
Regards…

Sounds like a case of wishful thinkin’, i.e. a fantasy concocted solely in a lonely girls imagination, nothing more.