My inner geek deflated when my wife exclaimed “you better not get me a navigation system for Christmas!” We were driving around lost. Looking for a soccer field. Yet again. Alas, the Woodie lacks a built-in navigation system. (Heck, we’re lucky if we can find a state map.) Our standard away game procedure is to print out directions from Google, Yahoo, or Mapquest. But we all know how that can work out …

Sometimes it does. Sometimes it doesn’t. And if you happen to veer off into uncharted (make that unprinted) territory, fuggetaboutit.

Consequently, I’ve spent some time looking into Garmin, TomTom, Magellen, and other GPS navigation systems, of late. Many are less expensive than the built-in factory navigation options, to be sure, but they’re still a bit pricey when compared to that old-fashioned glovebox full o’ maps.

Truth be told, I’ve been swayed by the TomTom promise to “just plug in, switch on, and go.” TomTom’s multitude of voices sound like just the ticket to navigation nirvana:

Let a funny voice be your guide, Choose a movie star’s familiar tones, your favourite dialect or a voice that simply appeals to you.

When I’m lost, I need a soothing voice. Imagine a navigation system with a voice like, oh, Jessica Rabbit … if my navigation system had a voice like that, I wouldn’t care if I was lost.

While Jessica Rabbit can’t be found, TomTom’s Sylvia might do.

Then again, John Cleese might be a safer bet … as long as the argument clinic module isn’t loaded …

Related: GPS Tracking Systems