Marriage takes a lot of work. No matter how desperately in love the couple was on the day they gave their vows, the fact is that two humans living together takes patience and compromise on both sides. The flames of passion may dim, and the novelty of marriage wears off after a few years. There are ways, however, to keep the momentum going, and even bring a marriage back on track.
In this article, I’m not going to share what I believe to be a miracle cure for marital issues. What I can share are some tips that I’ve picked up along the way by both being married and watching my married friends interact on social networks like Facebook, Google+, and Twitter.
You might ask yourself, “Why would a married couple communicate on social networks? Isn’t that a sign of bad communication?”
The fact is, communication (no matter its form) is essential to keeping a marriage alive. You never want to be in a situation where you and your spouse are like two ships passing in the night. It’s easier than it might seem for people in a marriage to grow apart, and sometimes, a resentment begins to grow between them as each wonders what their spouse is actually thinking when they’re sitting there so silently.
Here are some tips I’ve picked up regarding the use of social networks in a marriage.
Surprise Them with a Private Message
Take a moment to surprise your spouse by sending them a private message hinting at something awaiting them when they get home. This will brighten up their day, and allow that interest to grow until they finally get home from work.
Anticipation is an amazing motivator for romance.
Give an Occasional Public Reaffirmation of Your Love
This might annoy a few of your friends, but consider giving a public mention of your spouse during special occasions. Do you remember the day you got engaged? Your wedding anniversary is another great time to post something about your spouse, and how much you love them.
It doesn’t have to be much. You could share a photo of your wedding day and tell a little story about how you met or why that day was so important.
Fellas, believe it or not, most women love this kind of thing.
Use the Social Network’s Calendar to Remind You of Events
My wife’s birthday and our anniversary are burned into my memory forevermore, but remembering her family members’ birthdays and doing something to prepare for the day (like get them a gift) shows initiative and thoughtfulness.
It also helps if you avoid making plans on those days because you know she’s going to want you to go somewhere for dinner that night, and probably won’t tell you until the day before. Imagine her surprise when you say, “I know. The gift is wrapped and here’s a card for you to sign.”
Drop Occasional Appreciative Statements into Your Stream
You know those occasional status updates that really don’t do much more than tell people how your day went? Take a moment to add a sentence about your spouse in there from time to time. Something like, “So many things to get done today. I’m glad my husband/wife was there to help.”
Those little acknowledgements go a long way, especially if your spouse is feeling underappreciated at the time. Those feelings happen, and it’s natural. It’s very easy to feel as though you’re the only one getting things done around the house, even when your spouse is actually doing much of the heavy lifting you don’t see. A little thanks goes a long way.
These were my tips to help improve a marriage through social media. What are yours?
Photo: Ryan Pierson