In Tibet they say there is a lake where, during a particular full moon each year, the seal-like creatures who live there gather fish in their mouths and offer them up to hordes of owls who hover in the trees above, waiting to eat. There is no apparent reason for the seals to offer the fish other than the fact that the owls seem to expect it. As the story goes, the seals gain nothing from offering the fish, and the owls are never satisfied. So, they say, since there is no obvious reason for this dynamic to be as it is, “it must be lenchak.”

The lenchak dynamic has two sides: the seal side and the owl side. If we are the seal, we feel an unspoken emotional responsibility for someone else’s mind and well-being. We feel pulled toward this person as if they have a claim on us. It’s a strong visceral experience, and we have a physical reaction to it: the phone rings and we check our caller ID — it’s “the owl.” We should pick it up, but we are overcome by a strong wave of anxiety and repulsion, as if we are being attacked by our own nervous system. We brace ourselves for a problem or a strong emotional download. As much as we want to detach ourselves from this person, we can’t break loose; it’s as if they have captured us, and there’s no escape — checkmate! Of course, this is not the case. In truth we are held hostage by our own attachment, guilt, and inability to resist the pain that comes from feeling unreasonably responsible for them. On one hand, we can’t bear watching the owl struggle. On the other hand, we can’t let go. This dynamic brings us down; it makes us lose our luster as human beings. Old Relationships, New Possibilities | Tricycle Magazine

Faced with a horrific drug problem, Vancouver is trying a radical experiment: Let junkies be junkies.…

Vancouver’s Safe Environment for Drug Addicts

Waiting for me.

There are more than 45,000 new cases of breast cancer in the UK every year, and the “lifetime risk” of developing it is approximately one in nine.

Women who drink one large glass of wine a day, which means 21 units of alcohol a week compared with the recommended 15, increase this by a fifth.

Drinking two glasses a night boosts it by a third, while three big glasses mean more than a 50% increase.
BBC NEWS | Health | Women ‘unaware of alcohol threat’

It’s especially hard to find high-quality material about addiction and recovery online, and I can’t write everything myself.  (Well, I could, but it would eventually turn into b.s.)   I avoid posting links to commercial sites like treatment centers and halfway houses because (a) they don’t usually have anything new to say and (b) I don’t want to give the impression that I’m recommending a particular establishment.  I will not do that unless I know that they offer a program that meets my personal opinion of the way treatment ought to be run.  That is in line both with only writing about what I know and with giving my readers the best possible advice, both of which I try to adhere to at all times.

The same is true of blogs.  There are a lot of really good recovery-related blogs out there, but I can’t track down and read them all.  If you have suggestions, by all means, please make them in a comment — your site or others. I’ll load the feed into a reader and keep track of it for a while, and consider linking to individual entries and possibly providing a sidebar link.  I do not trade links.  I only publish links to sites I consider useful and that exhibit good recovery, and I don’t want obligations — real or implied.

Finally, there is the issue of articles in the media.  Some of them are well-written, do not draw unwarranted conclusions, and are obviously by knowledgeable people writing about a subject that they at least researched with some care, if not one that they understand personally.  That covers about 5% of what’s available.  The rest are usually rushed to publication, report mainly what is obtained from press releases — often overlaid with the writer’s personal prejudices or misconceptions — and are of questionable value.

The same is true of articles about breakthroughs in the field.  There are literally thousands of studies in progress at any given time, and every one of them is likely to be a product of one of two systems: the publish or perish academic model, or the funded- by-a-drug-company-model.  That is understandable.  Someone has to pay for the research.  These studies are often excellent.  Taken out of context, however, they are also open to interpretations that are not necessarily within the parameters of the study, so one has to be careful, especially if not trained in statistics, research and the field in question.

In addition to the above, studies tend to be restricted to small populations and, when they are not, almost always have political implications that — again — make careful reading and interpretation important.

So, to put it as succinctly as I ever do, I don’t publish things I’m not sure of.  My purpose here is to be a source of information and support for other recovering alcoholics and addicts.  It is not site promotion, site hits, or volume of material.
Please check back from time to time or subscribe to one of the feeds.  When I find something useful or think of an idea I believe useful, you’ll see it here.

And don’t forget to recommend good sites and blogs.  I will check ‘em out, I promise!

By the way, thanks for stopping by.

Nearly 50% of drivers aged between 18 and 24 texted while driving, it said.

Previous studies had found reactions were 21% slower among those who had taken cannabis and 12% slower among those who had drunk to the legal limit.

The texters also drifted out of lanes more and had poorer steering control.

The overall driving performance was poor among those tested by the Transport Research Laboratory, which also carried out the previous studies, the RAC Foundation said.

Steering control among drivers in the text test was 91% worse, compared with 35% worse for those under the influence of cannabis.

‘Hazardous’

The TRL study followed a poll of 3000 drivers conducted by the RAC Foundation on facebook earlier in 2008.

It found that 48% of 18 to 24-year-olds admitted to texting while driving.

BBC NEWS | UK | Text driving ‘worse than drink’

I could write a book (and may someday do so) about the next six weeks of confusion, illumination, and being dragged kicking and screaming into a thriving community of recovering addicts. Over the past few days I’ve found myself remembering some of the others who accompanied me on my first steps along the Road to Happy Destiny.

Many have faded from memory, or else I remember them only vaguely, especially those who have since relapsed. In the world of recovery, out of sight frequently becomes out of mind because of the numbers who don’t make it. You just can’t keep track of them all. Some, still sober, simply drifted away from the group or moved away. Others, needing additional research time, headed back to the bars, alleyways and crack houses, rejoining us later after having completed their education. Many of those are still around, and I see them at meetings occasionally.

There was, however, a nucleus of folks who stuck around and completed the two years of weekly aftercare. Some, with the help of a dedicated counselor, even kept the aftercare program running for over a year after the treatment center itself was forced to close due to tightening insurance restrictions. These people, and a few lost along the wayside, are the ones that I remember clearly.

I remember Fred, the model who had been a bit too gay during his time in the navy and who, after struggling for his sobriety, went on to become a blessed support for many people with AIDS and acted, in addition, as a spokesperson for PWAs in the community at large before himself succumbing to complications of the disease, four years sober. His memorial service was one of the high points of that period in my recovery, consisting as it did of so many hearty belly-laughs along with the tears.

My roommate in treatment, Wayne, drifted away from our group but continued to show up for several years for anniversary celebrations. When the venue of those celebrations changed, he stopped showing up. I hope he is well, because his quiet strength was an important part of my introduction to treatment.

Cathy — who at one time, when asked to say something good about herself, could only think to say, “I’m happy that I’m a small person.” Cathy, a recovering Jehovah’s Witness who was estranged from her identical twin sister. Cathy, hit on her bike by a drunk driver and killed in the third month of our recovery.

Helen and her husband got sober together, she more successfully than he. Their marriage failed to survive the chaos of two people at cross-purposes in recovery, along with the other issues that could not be resolved for whatever reasons. I haven’t seen him for several years, but Helen will be with us on the 28th when we celebrate this year’s successes.

Myra was my wife’s roommate, a good ol’ gal from the Low Country of Carolina who watched in horror on the treatment center TV while hurricane Hugo demolished the county where she grew up, and where many of her relatives remained. They all made it through Hugo, and Myra went on to become a pillar of the recovery community, serving on boards of this and that and generally reminding everyone, with her signature drawl, that “If I can make it, anyone can make it!” She and her husband David, met and married in recovery, moved up to North Florida, and we lost touch.

Austin, my closest friend in recovery over the past 19 years, called me this morning to tell me that he and his wife Anne made it through hurricane Ike in their home north of Houston, along with their several cats. Austin was involved in a religious group in that area, and fell in love with the church secretary, herself many years into recovery. A few years ago he moved to Texas and they got married. We talk frequently, and visit when we can. We’ll miss them when we get our medallions, but they will be with us in spirit.

My-Wife-The-Shrink is still very much among the clean and sober, and in addition to being the love of my life is the best friend I never had in my youth. As many of my readers know, she and I once worked together in the same rehab. One of our colleagues in the field, and a much-treasured friend, is Pierre — the counselor who worked so hard to keep us all together when the Center For Recovery closed its doors. Pierre will be with us on the 28th, as he has been since the beginning.

Mon Amour, et Mes Amis, celui-ci est fait pour vous!

It works, if you work it.

The phrase “addiction doesn’t care” is not meant to remind us that addiction casts a long shadow — everyone knows that. Rather, it is supposed to suggest that any individual, no matter who, is vulnerable to the ravages of drugs and alcohol.The same rhetoric has been applied to other problems, including child abuse, domestic violence, alcoholism — even suicide. Don’t stigmatize the afflicted, it cautions; you could be next. Be kind, don’t judge.

The democratization of addiction may be an appealing message, but it does not reflect reality. Teenagers with drug problems are not like those who never develop them. Adults whose problems persist for decades manifest different traits from those who get clean. …

Essay - Addiction Doesn’t Discriminate? Wrong - NYTimes.com

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Alcohol-related causes such as liver disease and car crashes account for nearly 12 percent of American Indian and Alaska Native deaths, 3-1/2 times the figure for the overall population, officials said on Thursday.

Alcohol deaths common among American Indians