‘About Me’

For those of you who have followed my blog in the past, you will know that most of my articles are, well, just that, articles. Yes, I try to personalize my blogs, but, I am very ‘professional’ in a way. I think it really sucks. Lol. I find my own writing so dull, and tedious, and yet there is that ‘other’ side of me. Once again, my old readers will know what I am saying here. The other side of me that is poetic, and flows, and is rather, transcendental.

Well, anyway, as of late, I have been through, for quite a looong span of time…nothing but sheer hell. It has been like jumping out of the fire, and into the frying pan, and then back into the fire, and on and on it just seems to go.

Right now I am amidst so much weirdness, I could not even begin to tell you about it all. It would take an entire novel, and that has just been since the last year. This is why I stopped blogging on Lockergnome, as my entire reality and inner world was being destroyed before my eyes, and I, like a marionette, seemed to have no control over it.

This is not like me, I am a very ‘together’ kind of person. Mind you, I wasn’t always. I have suffered insanity more times than I would care to admit, but my insanity is not normal…it is conscious. I was very much able to distinguish between fantasy and reality, but often times fantasy did become reality.

My ever lasting salvation, was knowing that other people had been there to validate to me, that things were ‘really happening’, and they certainly were not ‘normal’ things.

Lately though I find I am still suffering from the shock, over everything I have been through. To be perfecting honest with you, I think I have been in shock for about the last five years. In fact when I really think about it, I have had the most incredibly long series of bad events occur, to the point I cannot believe I have not shot my head off already.

So, back to my writing this blog. Because of all that I have been through, and all the stuff that is still going on, I just cannot seem to grab onto that ‘flow’ again. This has been in many areas, not only writing, and I feel rather in need of heart resuscitation. You know, like when you have been in a war so long, you go into battle shock? Yeah, that is where I have been.

So, I go set up a profile over at MySpace(yeah, I finally broke down and did it), and there is that area, that is ‘about me’. I am supposed to make up some description of myself, and somehow categorize myself, in some way. I sat there looking at the text field, and just sat there, for probably twenty minutes. I tried to conjure something, running along various threads in my life, but each just dead ended.

Yes, I gave up, and my MySpace profile has no ‘about me’. It has cool pictures though, and stuff I like, do, watch, hear, etc., just nothing describing ‘me’. Now when people at parties ask me for my MySpace, I can actually give them one, instead of looking at their disappointed incredulous stares…’You don’t have a MySpace, what is wrong with you?’

Sorry, I digress. I am working on relaxing and ‘letting go’ right now, so have patience with me, please. Soon I will have my flow back, and write some more in The Chronicles of ShadowMyth, and some other ‘fun’ stuff. I hate having all work, and no play!

As soon as I can, I am going to get out there and do some socializing, maybe some dating, and connect to life on a better footing. I think that is exactly what I need, to get that ‘flow’ back again.

Dream true everyone, dream true.

Oh…and my MySpace Address….

http://www.myspace.com/shadowsdimension