We have recently been contacted by a national magazine looking for a testimonial from a woman who has overcome sleep apnea and undergone significant weight loss as a result of increased energy and alertness on CPAP therapy. In particular, they are looking for a middle-aged woman (30s to 40s) who has lost at least 50 lbs since being on CPAP.

If you or anyone you know fits the bill, please send a summary of your story including before and after photos to  bettertogether at resmed.com. Stories must be received by Monday, August 20th. Due to the high volume of respondents, we will not be able to respond to all participants. However, if your story is selected, a media relations professional will contact you.

Thanks for your interest and participation. We look forward to receiving your responses.

Best regards,
The MyResMed team

Those of us stuck on Earth in the meantime while you’re hobnobbing it up with the angels are still going to miss you, sir. Rest in peace.

Today, you get space aliens and their ilk. You’re welcome! (Most of these found courtesy of The Anomalist.)

• Michael Shermer Abducted by Aliens (video)
  YouTube
• 8th Annual UFO Festival: May 18th & 19th, 2007
   UFOFest.com
• Raelians Moving Headquarters to Las Vegas
   LasVegasNOW.com
• Best Evidence: UFO’s Top 10
   Aliant.net
• UK UFO Pilot Sightings Update (video)
   UFOdigest.com

Sure, there’s not much we can do to prevent something like an earthquake — but fires? Come on!

They’re almost always caused by knuckleheads doing something they’re not supposed to be doing in areas ill-prepared to accommodate the far-reaching spectrum of human idiocy. It doesn’t take a genius to do the math: An errant spark + acres of dead grass and underbrush + spring winds = Oh, NO!

On March 30th, it was a couple of pyromaniac adolescents on vacation who admitted to starting the fire that came darned close to taking out the Hollywood sign. A premature April Fool’s joke on our fair city, perhaps?

Yesterday, it seems the fire that raged through Griffith Park and threatened the Los Angeles Zoo and countless residences may have been caused by a man who “fell asleep while smoking a cigarette and ‘woke up with his shirt on fire’” according to a report by the Associated Press.

The folks at 1947project propose a novel, simple, and surprisingly affordable solution to the problem: Goats! It’s not as far-fetched as it might sound, and it’s been tested before. In a petition to the city, Kim Cooper writes:

We the undersigned demand that the City of Los Angeles and the L.A. Department of Recreation and Parks respond to this continued threat by bringing in shepherds with herds of goats to graze on the dry hills, a plan previously implemented with great success by UC Berkeley in the aftermath of that community’s devastating 1991 fire.

Goats are economical, ecological fire-fighting machines that produce fertilizer as they clear hills and canyons of weeds, poison oak and dry chaparral. Additionally, the animals are charming, newsworthy ambassadors for fire safety, a subject that needs to be more widely discussed.

While supportive of the idea, Jillian at Metroblogging Los Angeles does bring up a good point:

I’m a little concerned that the coyotes might find the goats to be meals-on-hoofs.

Mmmm, goats!

Anyway, if you live in Los Angeles and you think this is an idea worth entertaining, please sign the petition. For the sake of fire safety and hungry goats (and coyotes) citywide!

Photo of lovely goats above by flickr user Essjay NZ

His record collection — lovingly called The Punk Vault — now numbers in the thousands. It’s truly a lovely thing to behold — a museum of obscurities, test pressings, and classics spanning the history of underground music. But MXV doesn’t just selfishly hoard his slabs of waxy joy away from the world, oh, no! He shares his reviews, photos, observations, and more at his site as well as playing host to a semi-regular Internet radio (aka podcast) show, Live From Combustion Manor.

If you enjoy underground and independent music, this is definitely a worthy stop in your daily Internet travels!

• The Punk Vault
• MXV’s MySpace
• Spontaneous Combustion
• Live From Combustion Manor

I wrote about this phenomenon over at Tech News Watch a few weeks back, and Steve wrote about it at usrbingeek’s musings more recently, but it seems more likely that these recent depletions in the bee population are due to fungal encroachment rather than cell phone signals.

Jia-Rui Chong and Thomas H. Maugh II of the Los Angeles Times report:

A fungus that caused widespread loss of bee colonies in Europe and Asia may be playing a crucial role in the mysterious phenomenon known as Colony Collapse Disorder that is wiping out bees across the United States, UC San Francisco researchers said Wednesday.

Researchers have been struggling for months to explain the disorder, and the new findings provide the first solid evidence pointing to a potential cause.

But the results are “highly preliminary” and are from only a few hives from Le Grand in Merced County, UCSF biochemist Joe DeRisi said. “We don’t want to give anybody the impression that this thing has been solved.”

That’s hardly a definite answer, but it’s probably a more tangible path toward finding a solution to the problem than assuming that humankind’s dabbling in technological forces beyond its ken is to blame… this time!

“What is it? It could be a glass building, or some other type of optical effect. If it is a building, then it casts no shadow. Whatever it is, it is located between the Earth’s surface and the satellite.” [Source: Cognitive Labs via The Anomalist]

I’d go check it out myself, but the Google directions that tell me to “Swim across the Atlantic Ocean” for 3,462 miles seem to mock my ambitions. If Google hadn’t already disclosed its April Fool’s joke this year, I’d think this odd image might be a likely candidate! This isn’t the first time weird stuff’s been noticed by observant Google Maps users, and it’s doubtful it’ll be the last!

The Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem have long been a staple to the day’s (well, to be honest, the year’s) musical selection, and this video of Brennan on the Moor from a 1962 PBS performance should demonstrate why!

The young Bob Dylan used to hang out in the same Greenwich Village folk scene joints as the Clancys and Mr. Makem, so fans of his may recognize this tune that later became Rambling, Gambling Willie. Such is the way of traditional songs, I guess.

I’ve been playing with the new Armory character/guild profile search beta that Blizzard’s just implemented.

Now I wonder who these folks are! None of them exist on any servers where I have characters, though, so it may remain a mystery. Unless you’re one of the above Lockergnomes and you want to drop me a comment here to satisfy my curiosity!

More vexing is the fact that, no matter how original I think names I’ve given my characters might be (i.e. Lagavulin, Impslap, Mawdryn, Eski, Crimpshrine, Jawbreaker, Balvenie, Albini), there are several others out there! Ah, well. Even our old guild name, Army of Dorkness, shows up in a few cases.

It’s a small world (of Warcraft), after all!

But celebrities live a different life, and for some reason, people pay attention to what they say. Things like:

“I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist.” -Tara Reid

“I want to be like Gandhi and Martin Luther King and John Lennon - but I want to stay alive.”-Madonna

“I enjoy the company of cattle. I really enjoy knowing them, running my hand over them.” -Russell Crowe

“Has Greece got its own moon?” -Jade Goody

And, of course, no hoard of idiotic quotations would be complete without at least one contribution from former vice president Dan Quayle:

“The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history. I mean in this century’s history. But we all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century.”

Pretty & Stupid is a site that likes to focus on the ridiculous things that people in the public eye spout out (in spite of often good intentions). As the site describes itself:

Some people are beautiful. Some are smart. The people included on this site are sometimes the former, but never the latter.

Even if it were possible to try this at home, I think I’d have some serious reservations about giving a stunt like this a whirl.

On a recent trip to Hawaii, we Scribblepinchers marveled at the sight of a tiger shark up close and personal at the Maui Ocean Center, and it was from the other side of the glass! Even though the specimen we observed was much smaller than the ones featured in this video, it still inspired us with awe and wonder. I can only imagine (and, to be honest, I only do want to imagine!) what it would be like to be so close to these amazing, able-to-disassemble-me-in-one-bite creatures.

That being said, Scots Gaelic, not being my native tongue, makes it a real challenge when I go to a bar and try to communicate an unfamiliar brand to the barkeep without resorting to pantomimes, pointing, and vague references like “the one three bottles to the left of the Maker’s Mark! The one with the brown label!”

I stumbled upon a site that’s great for those of us who’ve ever been tongue-tied by best-guessing the names of our favorite Scotches. Each brand is accompanied by a clickable audio file of a fellow - who probably went insane by day’s end of voiceovers - clearly enunciating its proper pronunciation!

There, doesn’t that help a bit? You’re welcome!

I laughed when my friend told me his dad had just had surgery to stop him from snoring - I thought he was joking! This was many years ago, and long before I’d heard about the dangers of obstructive sleep apnea syndrome. I, myself, have been infamous my whole life as a monstrous snorer. My best friend knows to pack earplugs if we ever travel together. When I was a Boy Scout camping in the deep woods of northern Wisconsin, my troop was convinced there was a bear invading our site one eerie, moonlit night when it was really just me. I’ve had punk rock musicians (themselves no strangers to noise) throw their shoes at me in an attempt to stop my nocturnal bellowing when sharing floor space on tour. I’ve awakened to murderous threats from road trip partners unable to rest due to my beastly condition. I didn’t just saw logs - I felled forests with an army of chainsaws!

Oddly enough, as deep as my sleep seemed to be and as difficult as it always was for others to awaken me, I rarely felt as if I was really getting enough of it. No morning in memory was free from a dry mouth, a sore throat, and a headache. Nodding off in public places wasn’t uncommon (and, I’m sure, convinced casual observers that I must have been under the influence of some controlled substance or another). My attention wandered. Concentration was a real effort if not impossible.

Eventually, after an overnight spent in a sleep lab, I was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. The problem was that, as I drifted into slumber, my throat would close upon itself and stop the flow of air between my gaping, drooling mouth and the lungs that gasped fitfully in my chest. Not only did this prompt the loud bouts of snoring that were the bane of anyone sleeping within three blocks of me, but (I was told) there would be gaps when I would cease breathing, altogether. Over long periods of time, this can cause countless problems - among them high blood pressure, weight gain, heart disease, depression, and insomnia. Snoring may be merely the tip of a very treacherous iceberg, and should be taken seriously as a possible indicator of more significant issues.

While the most extreme cases may be treated with surgery (as was the case with my friend’s father), relief can often be found with the use of a CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) machine that, as the name implies, forces a constant opening of the throat for the continual passage of air throughout the night. No more snoring! This is the route I’m currently taking, and it seems to be going well. It’s not a perfect solution (the mask that needs to be worn can sometimes be uncomfortable), but it’s more appealing to me than surgery!

• American Sleep Apnea Association
• Sleep Apnea at The Mayo Clinic
• Sleep Apnea at Wikipedia

Music touches nerves and pushes buttons. People passionately defend or deny their musical tastes and scrutinize such tastes in others with fanatical fervor. As with any art form, music can move and motivate or it can bore and irritate - often both, depending on who’s being asked! One man’s Tiny Tim is another man’s Mozart. One woman’s Juice Newton is another woman’s… I don’t know? Elva Miller?

Anyway. The point is: We here at Scribblepinch don’t judge. And we don’t promise you’re going to like whatever our eclectic musical meanderings might possess us to feature on any given Friday. At least not all of the time. All we ask is that you give next Friday a chance if this one doesn’t tickle your fancy. Fair enough? Enough with introductions - let’s get on with it!

Back in the summer of 2005, Scribblepinch went on a little field trip to the far-fabled city of Milwaukee for its 25th annual Irish Fest. Our initial draw to the event was the chance to see the legendary Liam Clancy and former bandmate Tommy Makem (both to be featured at some future time in this space), but three solid days with our pick of so many talented performers to see at any given time gave us the opportunity to enjoy acts we may otherwise have never discovered. One of these acts was American Appalachian old-time music enthusiast Bruce Molsky.

Molsky, himself from the Bronx, may seem like an odd champion of traditional mountain music and its surrounding legends and lore, but one listen to his masterful work (punctuated with fiddle, banjo, guitar, and vocals) will put any doubts to rest. A New York Yankee in Bascom Lamar Lunsford’s Court? Why not? A music born from such diverse roots (Scottish, Irish, English, African, French, and German, to name a few), is bound to have its seeds scatter in some pretty odd directions!

Anyway. Bruce Molsky. Check him out!

• Bruce Molsky’s Home Page
• Bruce Molsky on Amazon
• Bruce Molsky on MySpace
• Bruce Molsky on Wikipedia

Picture of Bruce Molsky above published here with the kind permission of Staci Peters.

Whatever the day brings us from this hideously beautiful Internet - sifted treasures from the flotsam, shared with you, our friends! Welcome aboard!

“It is a pinch of scribble not wortha bottle of cabbis.” [James Joyce, Finnegans Wake (1939)]