10. He promises to improve foreign relations with Hawaii.

9. He runs a
series of attack ads against Martin Sheen’s character on “The West
Wing.”

8. His #1 choice for a position on his cabinet is “That Bob Vila
guy.”

7. His outstanding record as Governor of Rhode Island is nullified
by the fact that no one really cares.

6. He got his degree in Political
Economics by bribing Sally Struthers with a chocolate donut.

5. When
anybody mentions Washington, he asks, “The state or the DC thingie?”

4.
At the debates, he answers every question with a snarled, “You wanna
wrestle?!”

3. He vows to put an end to the war in Pokemon and free the
Pikachu refugees once and for all.

2. He says the Pledge of Allegiance as
quickly as possible, then shouts, “I win!”

1. On the very first question
of the debate, he attempts to use a lifeline.

(from the Humorama
newsletter)