Is There Any Safe Way to Date Online?

On Tuesday evenings, my wife and I facilitate a divorce group that helps those who are going through a divorce or have been divorced. One of the most common topics of interest revolves around where one should look for a potential mate. This seems to be of interest not only to the recently divorced but also to those who have been divorced for some time. However, the more we listen, the more evident it is that loneliness is rampant for all of these individuals. The unfortunate thing is that no one in the group, not even my wife or me, could come up with a positive solution.

Is There Any Safe Way to Date Online?The conversation last week then turned to social networking sites and online dating services. Several in the group mentioned the bad experiences they had experienced when using online social networking sites including some of the services that are frequently advertised on television. Then, yesterday morning on NBC’s Today show, two participants representing opposing viewpoints shared their perspectives about the safety of online dating. One of these participants was from a company called, and they talked about a program the company is offering, for a fee, called InvestiDATE. The service promises to do a background investigation on potential people one may wish to date online. The owner of the company stated that people needed to protect themselves from predators that have flourished online at social networking sites.

On the flip side was a psychotherapist who had a different point of view. She stated that you can’t find out everything about every person that is out there and that some of the facts discovered could be false. She also stated that there still needs to be some trust when dating anyone before an intelligent decision is made about the person. People who investigate people before they date them could become paranoid and believe that there are no good people to date, when actually there are.

After watching the Today show segment, I am not sure that advising someone to try an online dating service or a social networking site is your decision to make. So, given the above information, take the time to consider what you are looking for and go from there.

Comments welcome.

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I have been writing for Lockergnome for eight years.


  1. Larry Opena says:

    It depends. It is better to do a video chat first before meeting up. Save the¬†embarrassment of meeting up with some weirdos etc….¬†

  2. Peggy G. says:

    I got scammed by somebody who looked okay but later…don’t sent any money to anyone unless they are someone you really know.¬† Really – like met them and they’re a relative.

  3. D Lowrey says:

    I’ve come to a realization from having tried online dating and dating in the real world.
    1. I am much happier being single than I was in any relationship.
    2. Being unemployed right now…I have no business dating or thinking about dating.
    3. I like my stuff too much to have a judge or anyone else tell me I have to give it away to someone else who did not help me work for it.
    4. Knowing too many fathers who have been bent over by a vindictive ex-spouse in court…the cost and pain of getting fixed was more than worth it.

    I know…it’s cynical…but having been through several breakups and a marriage in the past…singleness is better than the alternative.

  4. Alex says:

    I can’t see calling it “dating.” There is no getting together, no real interaction, and no real deep communications. It is nothing more than being pen pals.

  5. Allan says:

    Well… I was cynical toobut ther are good stories.. but you have to be careful!
    I met my wife of 10 years on-line.
    We lived 3000 miles apart and met on-line completely by chance – a mistyping of 3000 instead of 30 miles!
    It took me three months to get a passport picture and we didn’t meet for 9 months. At any time either of us could have cut the cord.
    Unbeknown to each other, we both kept copies of all correspondence…. to just be able to validate each others stories.
    It changed our lives for the better – but we had low expectations and perhaps we were just lucky..