Reflections

What Do Woman Want in a Guy?

Posted by on May 22, 2008 | 8 Comments

According to Engage.com a singles site women regard old-fashioned manners as the most important thing from the time dating begins and throughout their time together. This means that the rules of courtship conduct mean that the guy opens the car door for her, as well as, any other door that they are to enter. Additionally, according to Pepper Schwartz, a sociology professor at the University of Washington in Seattle, women also want to find a guy who is on the same intellectual plain that she is.

She also found that the majority of women want a man with a sense of humor and with a giving type personality. That doesn’t mean that he goes without and gives beyond his means. Rather it means that if the woman isn’t of the high maintenance variety the male simply needs to be there for the emotional needs that she has and doesn’t allow important dates and events to go by unnoticed. For most women even a small gift on a special occasion makes a difference in how they feel but remember you cannot buy love anymore than you can friendship. 

Last on a woman’s list is a desire for the guy to be at least somewhat romantic. What does that mean? According to Scott Halzman, author of The Secrets of Happily Married Women, it is all about the man taking responsibility for remembering important dates, listening to what she actually says instead of assuming what she means, and being aware of personal things like her favorite color or perfume fragrance.

Overall, all the experts basically agree that what women want in a mate hasn’t changed much over the years. If he has a sense of humor, is kind and makes her feel like she is the most important person in the world to him he can’t fail to gain her interest. What has changed, however, is that today’s women is less likely to let the guy run the show. She wants a say in the decisions that are made.

Lastly, it is interesting to note that according to True.com fewer than 10% of women list income as a key criterion in finding a mate. In fact, the remaining 90% value a big heart over a big wallet and since they make their own money few will settle for less than they are looking for in a mate just to get married.

  • mhz

    You mean intellectual “plane?” OOPS. Darn, I blew it. That won’t score any points. LOL.

  • mhz

    FYI, your link at the top titled “reflections”, directly under the date, is giving an error:

    Fatal error: Call to undefined function get_avatar() in /nfs/www/wp3.lockergnome.com/wp-content/themes/default/archive.php on line 26

    Hope that helps.

  • zenium

    Yeah and I dated a high maintenance woman. Not much fun there. Opening the car door and any other door became a chore to do. She would actually stand in front of the door and wait for you to go around her to open the door.

    And for small gifts. Forget it! ‘everyday’ is her birthday so you must buy her something (and not something cheap). And make sure you always buy the most expensive for her. However do not spend money on yourself, because that takes away from what you can spend on her.

    And heaven forbid if your hands are already full, you still must carry all her other bags.

    Bottom line. I think if women want respect they have to earn it by their own actions. And that means not following some old male-female ritual.

    I respect women that show respect for me and others and does not try to manipulate the situation because of being female.

  • http://lockergnome.com/omnidragon OmniDragon

    “listening to what she actually says instead of assuming what she means” <<< before i even read any further, that ……RIGHT there, is the reason i broke up with the last one……and one (just one) of the reasons i haven’t been in a relationship in a while. I…..really hate it when people try to read my mind instead of listening to what_i_say! Miscommunication or the lack thereof is the number one relationships killer.

    p.s. “This means that the rules of courtship conduct mean that the guy opens the car door for her” <<< Ladies: Does that mean that you only want us to open car doors during courtship? :\ just asking…cause i do that….all the time…it’s a man thing

    p.s.s. I’d believe those numbers from True.com if they were reversed. Sorry, but I’ve seen too many people get burned in the past by someone who was just tryin to turn out their wallets.

    It’s actually a very rare and special thing when you find a woman who actually loves you…….for you. Fellas, if you find that girl or if she finds you, you’re a very lucky man ;)

  • jasbo

    I think women are very hard to read, i book i can read, women say something but mean something else, whats up with that.
    And i also don’t know about this door business, i say let them open doors on there own.!11

  • Paul sherman

    “…listening to what she actually says instead of assuming what she means”

    Maybe it should read “rather than trying to figure out of what she means”

    Here’s a small fact that affects verbal communication…

    Men on average say about 2000 words/day. Women say about 7000. That’s a huge gap – I have enough problem following verbal communications. When it’s coming at me 3.5 times more than I can manage, forget listening; it’s usually more than I can do to figure what she means.

    Public speaking lessons emphasize that the speaker fit their speach to the audience. Trying to force the audience to adapt to your speaking pattern guarantees you’ll lose them.

    And women wonder why men don’t seem to listen – the verbal barrage simply overwhelms us.

  • Nameless

    I think its important to show a woman that you think they are special but sometimes it goes unnoticed and it doesn`t matter what you do for them. I have fallen for someone who i love completely but she keeps pushing me away. when i talk to her she keeps saying i keep pushing everything good in my life away. my advice to women who do this is STOP smell the roses someone like this is hard to find when you find him/her be happy

  • kevin

    1)I think a woman want a guy than only looks at them, that is one of the things you can do to makes them feel like is her all than you want, I help to make her feel like there are them most beatiful girl arrown.
    2)when there are other couple arrown do things with her to look like you are a better couple than they are, hold hand and kisses or make her smile.
    3) opem any door is not old fashion, is just cute and it showes than you care about her, and also than you are taking your part as the male in the relationship.
    4)call her or test her many time, just enought to show her than you are thinking about her but don’t ever say extra stuff than clould start a war.
    4)and went she tell you no to go to her house, do it but no to see her, just buy a flower and a card with something nice, and may be a uneversal controll you some thing extar and put is out side her door. And call her to pick it up, she 99.9% of the time she is gonna see you, and a really hight change of having some play time, you know what I mean.
    5) a gift is better when is something she can see everyday, some time a sticker could work if is put in the right place, this would make her think of you everytime she see it.
    6)don’t dress too much if you are gonna eat somewhere sheep, than include not giving her false ilusions of who makes you, you.

    I’m typing al of this with my cellphone sidekick, soo I’m tired of typing. Hope you can practice this tips, just a few of many,
    Remenber than she is looking for a ralation just as much as you are. So don’t do lest and don’t do more