A friend of mine is going on vacation tomorrow. I’ve neglected her a lot more than i will ever admit to as of late. Mainly due to my computer being down for upgrades and repairs. I don’t know what it is about me that’s always caused me to lose touch with those I care about most once they don’t try and reach me. I have always been a loner, by choice. I’ve never really been able to count on anyone short of family. I guess it just becomes easier to detach yourself from the outside world so when people disappear you don’t really take a hit from their departure.

I gotta work on that. It stems deep within’ my own being, however, so it won’t be easy. It’s unacceptable, though, cuz it means I’ll end up hurting people I care about.

What is it about computers? is it the time we spend using it, or the people we meet online, or the great new program that changes our screensaver and makes the virtual cows go up and down and left and right and every which way? It’s not that we’re selfish: we love sharing interesting and funny new videos, pictures, and songs we find online to anyone within reach.

So, why can’t we let go of our keyboard to a new set of fingers? have our computers become our digital mistress? i think in a lot of ways, yes. We tell it our utmost secrets, share with it our most kept sexual desires, thoughts, wishes, plans. Since the internet, computers have become something more to their owners. They’re no longer just another piece of technology to us, they’re our home away from home; our sanctuary.

Interesting thought, isn’t it? It’s almost as though we’ve built an imaginary digital relationship with an inanimate object; why this is shocking, I’m not sure, people do it all the time. Teenagers back in the day did it with cell phones, today they still do it, but, have now expanded to new online forums. In today’s techno-age, teenagers no longer fight for the phone line (unless you have dial-up, in which case, I’m so so sorry) no-no-no, today they fight for computer time. So, now, mom and dad have to share w/ the kids. How a one computer household could manage this, well, i don’t ever want to find out.

Oh, wait… I do know. My sibling :(. Well, at least i know I’m not the only one out there who feels this way. I think we should all hug our computers, not literally, we’d get the screens all oily and damage our LCDs, but, be kind to your computers. Buy them things, upgrade them, if you have a laptop, take it to the park with you. Blog out in the shade while sitting on a bench (if you live in new york or any dangerous city, you might wanna forego this part). And keep your computer clean, you wouldn’t want your mate to be dirty, would you… ok, bad example… but, come on, be good to your mistress, she’ll thank you for it by shining brightly and working hard at your command. Oh, yeah, right there… yeah, stroke those keys… ooh, yes, I like that… <sighs> sorry, got carried away there..

Well, that was my thought for the moment. What’s yours?

Well, here i go again on my own… I been busy lately, my leg is finally healing and i should be good to go come monday but this week i’m still unable to lift weights like i want. It’s progress i need to make once more –takes a while but worth it in the end. So, other than that..let’s see what’s new this week.

Chapter 2 of RvB-Reconstruction is up new this week. I love the series, and parts of it are brilliantly written, my fav. quote this week comes from Sarge at Red Base ..”..she’s cookin’ something up, and i gotta be ready. I hear her running training ops every night. I see them out there w/ their glow sticks and their tribal drum beats. oom-chika-oom-chika-oom-chika-oom-chika”. And, yet, this new series seems a bit lacking. I think they’re running low on ideas. Hope they don’t do it like Nintendo who beat the snot outta Mario every chance they get. I mean, really? Mario and Sonic at the Olympics…Seriously?

And the trend just seems to continue, Six Flags, while they are a great theme park name, are trying to create a video game. Yeah, umm, Rollercoaster tycoon never really took off, and that game was good. What makes them think they stand a chance? Then there’s the MGS4 game. /me sighs in dissaproval.

And, mad props to Crytek. They have a great premise for a new game, well, sort of a sequel but not really. The title is named Crysis Warhead. It’s essentially told from the pov of Psycho, aka Sergeant Sykes. I must say, i’m rather impressed by Crytek’s site. Unlike most other gaming sites, you’re not forced to search for a stop or mute button upon launching of the website; and it’s a very clean, very well done site, which makes sense, after all, they’re known for their graphics.

On a side note, to anyone who remembers Johnny 5. I came across this at Gizmodo. Some guy took the time to create a masterpiece w/ Legos. Take a gander at Johnny 5, Lego Style. What else, Lightning as a weapon. I think this is a briliant idea, and it’s about time technology allows for this sort of thing. 5-6 years until it’s in use is a bit long of a wait, but considering how rigorous the testing of weapons typically is, this is pretty good for what this weapon will mean to troops in iraq. I’m actually excited about this weapon. I can’t wait to see it in action.

Well, that’s about it for now. Oh, wait, almost forgot. FireFox 3 rc2 is out this week. Actually, came out yesterday. Don’t forget to upgrade. If you’re still using ff2, all i gotta say about that is…Why? if you like having memory for your other programs, upgrade. rc1 is excellent at memory management. Rc2? well, i’ll find out in a second. TTFN.

So, yeah..kinda of a long hiatus once again after that last emo-ish post. I was goin’ through a bad weekend when i wrote that post. This past week i was set back a ways in terms of physical progress. I pulled a muscle in my leg; apparently my Hamstring. I was sprinting in my backyard and i guess i got a lil too eager cuz i was gettin’ some good speed running that i overexerted my muscle in my leg. Since we all favor one leg over the other, it was my right leg that took the hit. Talk about pain; it’s unbearable at times.

I’ve been taking Ibuprofen for the swelling, i’m only just now regaining full control of my foot. Nevermind the numbness which’ll drive you nuts, just trying to walk with a limp is irritating. It really gets to you after a few days; it’s been a week and it’ll likely be another week before i’m ok. Up until 2 nights ago i wasn’t even able to get a full night’s sleep due to leg positioning. I had to keep my foot pressed against a pillow to alleviate the pressure.

So, what did we learn today, kids? well, just because you’re getting strong doesn’t mean you’re superman. You can’t always skip walking and go straight to running; no matter what iron man says. And, if you’re gonna do running, do it before your weightlifting routine. My mistake? doing it after i had worked my legs. Pushing an already fatigued muscle isn’t smart. So, in the future, Cardio first, weight lifting second.

I’m fat. No ifs, ands or buts. This is why i am finally doing something about it. But, as with any new life changing decision, there will your lil downfalls. I was talking with my homey on the way home from work. It’s interesting, i knew it (previous to him stating it straight), but we’re essentially the same person inside. It’s funny bout something like that, like i always tell people in situations. You’re always, always..ALWAYS that fat lil kid inside. You just never seem to be able to escape that within yourself. It’s like with anything, if you’re short, if you’re ugly, if you’re beautiful, if you’re anything, you have youre bullies but there’s just something about being fat that always makes you a target.

I’m curious, how many of you suffer from these types of dreams. You are in a fight, and it seems no matter how hard you swing or hit you might as well be a 2yr old hitting a 50lb heavy-bag cuz you’re not gonna do any type of damage to the person you’re fighting in your dream. It struck me as odd that i hadn’t realized this was a dream resulting from a type of scarring within your own being that always leaves you feeling as though you’re just not good enough.

It’s saddening, if i wasn’t as tall as i am, growing up might have been a lot tougher. In a sense, my size kept me safe from serious bullying. My friend, however, wasn’t so lucky. I was never in a serious fight, the only types of quarrels i got into were name-calling and the like, perhaps a bit of pushing and shoving. He had it rough; way more than i can ever begin to explain.  So, what’s different, well, he got into the Corp. He was a marine, signed up, and they whipped his ass into shape. Had to, didn’t really have a choice but then more power to him cuz he never quit. So, now, he’s about average size/weight, but he’s still all messed up inside.

I post this here because being a geek, we all know what it’s like to be made fun of. And not nit-picking on geekdom, there are plenty overweight among our ranks. So, i wonder, how many of us aren’t dealing with these issues on a daily basis. Let’s be honest, not many of us are athletic whatsoever. I had it good in that growing up; i know how to play baseball, how to throw a football, etc..etc… but, it’s just never the same. Genetics are a bitch. I never ran anywhere near as fast as the other kids, i couldn’t keep up w/ many of them growing up, etc..etc..and it really does impact your personality drastically. I think this is why many of us once reaching adult-hood are mis-understood.

We’re not trouble-makers always lookin’ for a fight, we’re trying to prove ourselves. We’re not overachievers, we just wanna prove we can do it just as well as anyone else. It’s true, obesity and such is a major issue in today’s world. But, the true problem has always been the bullies in the world. Why do we as human beings need to belittle and put down our fellow brothers/sisters to make ourselves feel better, or even just cuz they’re there. I hate it and it sickens me that we target those who are different among us and put them into the spot light when they’re just trying to get through the day just like the rest of us.

What’s the point of this post, i don’t know, i don’t think i have one. Just these are my thoughts for tonight. There was an incident at work while we were closing up between my boy and this other foo. The issue of course, the other guy, he fit the bully profile perfectly. He was just that perfect amount taller and bigger. It sent my boy into a bit of a relapse. It worries me and at the same time opens my eyes. You may seem on the outside like you’ve come so far, but on the inside, miles turn into feet and inches. I guess, my question is..Can you overcome childhood issues once you’re into adulthood? or do you just carry them with you forever….

I hope not, that’d be seriously disapointing. I think this post is proof i’m evolving internally from who i was in the past into who i am today. Even just a few months ago, ain’t no way in hell i would have the balls to write about this issue, let alone admit that about myself. But, it’s true. And, short of health reasons, there’s nothing wrong with being fat. The issue is, are you happy with yourself. I’m not, it’s keeping me from being my true self cuz in today’s society, looks count for a lot. I simply cannot be ME looking the way i look. So, enough, i wanna be able to shine, to be my true self, and not be seen as just the big dude or the fat one or my personal fav. Fat/big boy/man. These terms are meaningless, they’re just words, but when you’ve been through life looking at things a certain way, words hurt more than you think. I don’t expect any of you to agree or anything, it takes a lot to be that honest w/ yourself, but atleast i know on the inside, somewhere you’re agreeing and hey, you’re not alone. There are thousands of people dealing w/ the same shit you go through. And, know what, it’s okay. it’ll all be ok. Just gotta decide for yourself, are you happy or not…if you are, good for you i’m envious, if you’re not, ok, do something about it. There’s no time like the present.

-L8z

p.s. Movies like heavyweights and Angus, well, many angus is ok, it’s actually pretty honest, but Heavyweights treats the issue like a joke, it’s really not. It’s encouraging the behavior and it’s not ok. It’s interesting, it’s been stated before and it’s true, we can be all politically correct bout nationality, racism, etc..etc.. but, Fat jokes are always funny…they are, yeah, but at whose expense? think about that.

Hey peoplez… well, yeah, i know, i’ve been so MIA lately. I’ve just been swamped w/ family stuff. And, to be honest, all the latest news in tech isn’t really seeming that interesting for the time being. In gaming, what’s out, ehh… nothing too excellent… GoW2 isn’t due out for some time, then there’s Midnight Club: LA which is lookin’ gorgeous. I mean, the sites and streets are beautiful to look at, it might almost be too much of a distraction at times.

I’m essentially a pc gamer now; sold my 360 almost 6months ago. I don’t really miss it to be honest. The games that were comin’ out weren’t on par w/ making it a worthwhile piece of hardware to own. It was just collecting dust for the most part. Now, while there are games that will come out soon, that may be labeled “Must Play”, what happens once those games are beat… i dunno. Replayability isn’t high on my list of things i enjoy doing. I hate repeating myself, did that plenty w/ halo 2 multiplayer and then w/ GoW trying to get the dogtags, etc, etc… I think i’m better for not owning a console anymore. I’m just not that type of guy anymore. I guess i just grew outta that for now. But, don’t get me wrong. In the future i will be the owner of a large LCD/Plasma possible OLED big screen and then a 360 will be a must have or whatever console is out at the time. I will never go PS3 because there are too many fanboys on sony’s jock. I’m fine w/ them and their argument bout Blu-Ray, but let’s be honest, the majority of ps3 owners aren’t watching movies on their console. And those that are likely didn’t get the console for gaming. Where-as, 360 owners, well, it stays closer to the premise of what a console is, a gaming system. The hd-dvd addon, was a good idea and i’m glad they did it. Perhaps it’s dead now, but either way, what if MS did what ps3 did and let’s say Blu-Ray lost the battle… see what i mean?

Hey all you wacky peoplez. I am back from a short hiatus. I have been dealing w/ family stuff and friends have had their ups and downs and i’ve been trying to be the friend they deserve. Not cuz i’m obligated, but cuz i want to and they deserve it. I find it funny how life turns to shit in a matter of seconds and takes what seems like eternity to put back in order. To those new in my life, to those old in my life, to those no longer in my life, i hope you’re well, i really do. I love you all, in my own way. I hate you at times but only because you do some stupid things. Be safe, always, be healthy, every day, be free, in whatever way that means the most to you.

i’m watchin’ the recording of the World Extreme Cagefighting from 2-14-2008. This was a really good first fight between Manny Tapia & Antonio Banuelos. Haha, nice suspense, w/o the score correction it woulda been a draw. No way, it was close but not enough for a draw. Tapia p0wn’d Banuelos. Up next, Miguel Torres & Chase Beebe. Well, i’m not gonna tell you the turnout for all the fights but can’t wait to see these two go at it.

It’s funny, i’m talkin’ to my friend on gtalk and she’s all like men and fighting… pfft.. come one, now… men are full of testosterone, it’s in our dna, we’re fighters, warriors. Of course we love this stuff. Well, most of us. So, yeah, back to work for the weekend. I need to get a 9to5 soon. I don’t wanna quit my weekend job but sometimes it’s a pain and it’d be nice to work w/ a safety net, y’know :). Mehh. Well, there’s not a lot going on for the latter half of this week but one story i found kinda interesting. A farmer was having issues w/ his computer, a Dell pc. Dell support sent him a temp. laptop, apparently it was taking longer than expected to fix his. Upon opening the laptop, it was full of pubic hairs. Yep, you read that right, Pubic Hairs inside the laptop. It really makes you wonder. Oh, and this story brought to my attention by the fine folks on morning talk radio. So, who knows but can you imagine. That’s just unthinkable. Alright well, have a great weekend one and all.

I got a fight to watch so, take care, be safe, be healthy, be free and have some fun. Just don’t be stupid about it :). TTFN.

So, today’s post on techie news shall begin w/ the new comic up at Rooster Teeth. It’s hilarious, apparently too much chili can cause, well, medical issues. It’s actually posted from yesterday but i missed it so it’s new today :). So, i really wonder where is gaming headed. There isn’t really much of anything in terms of upcoming games that i’m seriously excited about. There’s the upcoming Rainbow Six Vegas 2, but ehh, i was more excited about COD4:MW. Loved the mutliplayer. There’s the next Duke Nukem, but who knows when that’ll come out.

I guess, i’m just glad i no longer have my 360. I’d be doomed to pay for boring mini XBLive arcade games to pass the time. Or, replay old titles for the Umpteenth time (that’s a real word, look it up). All i read lately is, Blu-ray this, Blu-ray that. It’s funny, but this is the single piece of hardware all PS3 fanboys hold onto for dear life as a must have reason for PS3. I doubt most PS3 owners have more than maybe a handful of Blu-Ray movies. I know in past polls, majority of gamers didn’t even realize their console played DVDs. Damn fanboys, irk me to no end. And i’m not a MS fanboy, i no longer have my 360. I’m just realistic about gaming and consoles. Be objective, don’t convince yourself it’s a good product jus cuz you forked over the money on a whim and are waiting for vindication. This is my views on the matter, and i could be wrong. There are hundreds of HD-DVD titles available. They are HD quality, they are cheap and so are the players. Why wait and pay a premium on re-released version on Blu-Ray..Pfft. Get an HD-DVD player, get some movies really cheap and hey, HD-DVD, while now abandoned, might as well be, will get you into hd movies cheaply.

Speaking of movies, apparently Pixar Studio (Walt Disney Company) has decided to release all future movies, starting w/ “UP” in 2009, in 3D. Yes, i’ve never heard of it either. I don’t do theatre’s much so this likely won’t impact me at all. But, interesting thought how this will stop piracy. I wonder if they’ll do shutter or traditional blue/red glasses. Keeping w/ this movie trend, Flickr is adding video support. I’m not impressed, i see it as a weak aim at gaining some of the popularity YouTube has. I feel, however, YouTube is too far gone in people’s vocabulary for Flickr to take much of it away. Even Photobucket sharing, i think, is more common than Flickr. No worries, though, it’s only available for Pro accounts. YouTube is safe and secure for some time still.

Now, for something completely different. I’m kinda glad i have yet to move to wifi as this is the only type of router i would purchase. I don’t really need it, no laptop in the home, but still. Certain devices could benefit from it. This new article at Geeks2Go.com has got me happy i haven’t. A serious vulnerability apparently to wifi users. A web based attack that would essentially change router settings and redirect unsuspecting users to malicious sites. I see McDonald’s/Starbucks, etc, especially airports, being major targets for this. Be weary, as always, free still comes w/ a catch. I think i’ll stick w/ dual LAN cards in my pc for now.

Anyway, that should do it for today, more tomorrow if i get the chance. For those wondering why i didn’t add Adobe’s new Media Player 1.0 t0 the list of movie/video related area. I don’t see it becoming too popular. I just don’t see a point to it. So many already exist. I guess time will tell. Blog ya lataz.

I was watching “Pumping Iron”, i love watchin’ these types of vidz after i finish a good workout. It helps keep me motivated and in that mindset. I think the hardest part about working towards a better body is keeping your diet in check. It’s normal to binge occasionally, it’ll happen due to stress or improper nourishment. You really gotta keep not only a steady routine w/ the workouts but a steady diet plan. Soda is actually not my worst weakness, I love me some Pan Dulce, sweet bread. It’s loaded w/ sugar and it’s just really bad for you. It’s fine for a now and then kinda thing but when you’re working toward a goal it’ll quickly slow your progress, especially since body fat is the enemy of muscle tone and definition.

So, now that i got that outta the way, i’m currently watching Cloverfield, finally on DVD. The quality is so much better than previous version i’ve seen. I can’t wait for an HD version but since it’s shot the way it is, i don’t see HD (720p) improving it all that much. I’ve been having major issues w/ my sleep patterns lately. I was up till bout 5am last night, got a couple hours sleep, up as usual bout 7:25am or so and started my day. I actually had to talk myself into working out. I find that if i don’t get it done early in the morning, it’s a major pain to do it later at night. But, i rather push through it in the morning than skip it like last weekend and come home after work only to workout at 2:30am, in by 3:45am, shower, etc, finally done bout 4:15-4:25.  Well, that’s it for my personal life for today, next post, techie news… yay.