It’s 9:00 a.m. and everyone is crawling into work at a snail’s pace, coffee in hand. The moans and groans of your coworkers as they pull out their chairs and sit down to begin another typical day at the office can be heard throughout the cubicles. That is, until you open fire and begin an all-out war between your team and the one across the isle.
Who said work has to be boring? I say, bring on the artillery and let’s have some fun with our job. Growing up doesn’t mean having to give up the basic pleasures in life.
In this article, we’ll discuss some gadgets that make work more exciting. Some of them are easier to conceal than others, but all should provide you with enough harmless entertainment to last you until closing time.
USB Missile Launcher
What could be cooler than launching an all-out assault on someone by way of a missile launcher positioned strategically within their cubicle from a secured location miles away from the office? The Dream Cheeky 901 Storm O.I.C. Missile Launcher allows you to do just that.
Not only can you send four foam missiles flying at their heads, but with a built-in webcam and software including pretty crazy sound effects, you can intimidate the victim as well. Hold them hostage for those TPS reports or make them agree to pay for lunch. The sky is the limit when you have one of these at your control.
Didn’t think air could be a weapon, did you? Guess what? It can totally ruin your coworker’s day if you’re sending it down range with an Airzooka.
With a range of roughly 20 feet, the Airzooka is designed to send a pocket of air at your rival that is sure to scatter papers, cause a mild panic, and induce laughter from everyone outside of the blast radius.
There are a few things to take into consideration with this particular product. For one, you may risk upsetting the boss if your “harmless” ball of air happens to knock over his/her prized office relay trophy, upset some less understanding coworkers, or inadvertently start a thermonuclear war. The latter is unlikely, but you never know.
Rubber Band Gun
Some people see the office supply closet as a storage place filled with essential office materials. I see it as a cache of ammunition, ready for deployment at the front lines of the cubicle war. Perhaps one of the most useful tools available in mass quantities to office workers is rubber bands.
These strips of stretchable rubber may seem like a lot of fun to flick at your neighbor or send flying past the water cooler, but they can be so much more. A proper rubber band gun can allow you to load and fire several of these rubber bullets across the room with startling accuracy.
Sometimes, you have to share close quarters with your rivals. Being in an office environment where your desk sits directly across from your coworker can create an uneasy feeling and office rivalry like none other. Why not take advantage of this lowered barrier by sending peanuts and other small projectiles across the desk with a small catapult?
These little desktop warfare kits come in an array of different old-world siege weapon styles ranging from the catapult to the ballista to the trebuchet. It’s up to you which one of these to deploy in your own personal desktop war, but the results are pretty much the same: Your coworker will rue the day they crossed you by taking that last donut in the break room.
Make your coworker say “Pudgy Bunny” with one of these in your hands. This marshmallow shooter means business, and it’ll send a fluffy sugary snack down range nearly 30 feet. Not only that, but you can load up to 25 marshmallows for dispatching multiple targets at a rapid rate of fire.
Here’s the trick with this particular weapon: Don’t fire marshmallows that have become too soft. This will gum up the mechanism and cause you to lose your battlefield advantage over your opponent. Instead, opt to use the included pellets or firmer marshmallows. Either way, you’re sure to have a lot of fun with this gadget.
What about you? What is your favorite office warfare weapon of choice?