What Do You Dream About?

Airwolf, a member of the LockerGnome community, asks:

“Have you ever tried to Google the things that you dream about after you wake up?”

What Do You Dream About?One time when I was skiing down an ice cream cake the size of Everest, I accidentally bit my tongue (which for some reason was made out of three hummingbirds). I cursed in a language unknown to me in waking hours and launched myself high into the air, where I began to fly. But was I really flying? A sinking feeling spread out from the pit of my stomach to the ends of my extremities as I lost altitude and prepared to meet the onrushing landscape beneath me. I blinked in anticipation of impact, but when I hit the ground, I bounced back up, high into the sky, only to fall and bounce again and again, each time going higher than before.

Eventually, I was looking down on Earth from orbit. I grabbed hold of a nearby satellite and let my body dangle between the planet and this newfound space junk. I heard the distant sound of an unseen harp, joined by a chorus of angelic voices. They were singing what sounded like a bad German translation of a familiar pop song. My ears began to bleed, and I lost my grip on the satellite. As I plummeted back toward Earth, my feet became umbrellas and my descent slowed considerably. I tried to reach into my pocket for a cough drop, but could find none — no pockets and no cough drops. It was only at this point that I realized that I was completely naked.

To paraphrase the late Rick James, “Sleep is a hell of a drug,” and the dreams that might visit in the wee hours often evade comprehension upon waking. Many books on the interpretation of dreams have been written over the years, but now we’ve got Google to help us search out potential meanings (if any) when it seems like the subconscious mind is trying to tell us something. So have you ever found Google helpful while trying to sort out what your dreams mean? Let us know!

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Our resident "Bob" (pictured here through the lens of photographer Jason DeFillippo) is in love with a woman who talks to animals. He has a fondness for belting out songs about seafaring and whiskey (arguably inappropriate in most social situations). He's arm-wrestled robots and won. He was born in a lighthouse on the storm-tossed shores of an island that has since been washed away and forgotten, so he's technically a citizen of nowhere. He's never killed in anger. He once underwent therapy for having an alien in his face, but he assures us that he's now feeling "much better." Fogarty also claims that he was once marooned along a tiny archipelago and survived for months using only his wits and a machete, but we find that a little hard to believe.

  • http://techmansworld.blogspot.com/ MHazell

    Hey Chris, do you have FiOS? I saw some of your other videos on YouTube and saw the one about you wanting FiOS. I know that this might be off topic, but I wanted to ask that after seeing that video.