This column is dedicated to those thuggish gangstas who relocate from inner city schools to “country” schools much like mine in years past. “What up, yo!” Okay, some of these kids have roots in the city. But, we’re not going to go as far as to grant them total street cred since many are from gangsta paradises such as Long Island and suburban New Jersey. Just because you move to the country from a “city” doesn’t grant you the gangsta lean that you think you somehow deserve.

Come on. If your parents hadn’t been worried about your upbringing and getting your ass kicked every day by real thugs, they would have never moved you away from the city to begin with. And if you really were so “hard,” why the Hell would you have had to leave the city? Couldn’t you fight your own battles in the “streets?” Whatever the case, the bottom line is that these kids are mostly phonies. You have the saggy pants, two-strap backpack wearing kid who draws amateur graffiti with sharpie pens on his sneakers and clothing. So by creating “tags” with bubble letters you are proving to us that you grew up in the worst circumstances in the ‘hood?

Jackasses like Vanilla Ice and Marky Mark just reinforced the image. Real disadvantaged youth from Hellholes like Compton and Watts existed on MTV and deserved all the credibility in the world, but then there were also the phony white kids who acted all hard and transformed their “whitespeak” into a loose-tongued, southern-slang-sounding mangling of the English language.

“What up, B?” said the lanky white kid from the Garden State. Yes, he worked on his father’s tomato farm in New Jersey and had migrated to the suburbs in the tri-state area and had all of a sudden gained a “street” accent, and thought that he had qualified for Section 8. It just didn’t make any sense. You can’t transform yourself into a hardcore gangsta. If you weren’t forced to live that way due to your surroundings, then you’re just a phony ass punk who deserves scorn.

If only “Malibu’s Most Wanted” had been released about ten years earlier so that these dumbasses could have seen themselves on the big screen.

By W.U. of Baseball Card Death and I Complain. All rights reserved. Content may not be duplicated without proper crediting. All content is the original, registered trademarked content of the aforementioned Web sites, subsidiary companies of IComplain.net. Unlawful use of this content will be prosecuted.

[tags]thug,malibu’s most wanted,gangsta,poseur,tagger,ghetto,wannabe[/tags]