Say it ain’t so! Tell me that Peach has not finally submitted to the charms of Bowser. Tell me that Bowser’s history of kidnapping Peach has resulted in some form of Stockholm syndrome and that Peach is simply not in her right mind. Tell me that Mario still cares!!!

You may wonder what all of the fuss is about. Why I’m in such a fragile state of affairs. Well, you would be too if you got this press release from Nintendo today:

Nintendo of America Requests the Pleasure of Your Company at the Marriage ofPeach
to
Bowser

on the 9th Day of April 2007

The nuptials will take place at the beginning of Super Paper Mario™, which will be available for Nintendo’s hot new Wii™ home video game system. Those who wish to attend - or thwart - the ceremony will need to switch between 2-D and 3-D.

This isn’t just some willy-nilly wedding. This doesn’t seem forced on the part of Bowser. I mean, for God’s sake, they have an official wedding announcement!!!

Well, as Allison reported back in January, it does indeed seem as if “Super Paper Mario” will hit the Wii on April 9th.

At that time, we’ll buy the game and take control of Mario in a quest to knock some sense into Peach and to once again, rescue her from the arms of Bowser. Allison can’t wait!