the news

Wal-Mart Planning Its Own “Geek Squad“?
Instead of porn, they’ll steal your biblical texts?
Trying to beat the high cost of gasoline, a couple in Dartmouth, MA. inadvertently started a fire in their apartment complex when 45 gallons of their hoarded gasoline ignited.
That’s because you don’t store gasoline in the living room.  You store it in the [...]

Students take heed, Blackboard is now on Facebook
and Leon is getting larrrrrger

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STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING. PACK UP THE DOG AND THE CAR. THIS IS BIGGER THAN JESUS!

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with a review like that, I can’t resist!

…from my local NBC affiliate
Justices Appear Split Over Lethal Injection
[some prefer morning, others late afternoon]
Corzine Unveils Toll Hike Plan
[yet another reason to stay out of New Jersey]
Stove Explosion Injures Four
[that meth is pretty volatile, isn't it?]
Man Says Cemetery Looks Like Bomb Went Off
[was anybody hurt?]
Army Captain With Local Ties Dies In Iraq Ambush
[shot by Halliburton [...]

Today’s news, from my local NBC affiliate…
Man Falls Six Stories In Temple University Construction Accident
Obviously a Temple graduate.
A Pakistan government official says that Al-Qaida and the Taliban are
responsible for the assassination of Benazir Bhutto.
Fellas.. fellas.. there’s plenty of blame to go around. Let’s just say the Taliban shot her and Al-Qaida blew her [...]

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Today’s Top News
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Bond Set In Fatal Throat Slashing
A New Jersey mother is being held on a first-degree murder charge after she
fatally wounded her 6-year-old son this weekend, police say.
[Well, that'll make her think twice before slashing again....]
Midwest Storm Kills 5, Shuts Down Highways
[Bush declares storms a threat to national security, outlaws them.]
Police Shoot Knife-Wielding [...]

Once again, news headlines from my local NBC affiliate.
Shot Woman Found Inside Burning Home
[she was having a really bad day]
Borgata Construction Worker Hurt During Slip Into Void
[THE void?]
Mayor Street To Receive $500,000 Lump Payment
[wins `Biggest Lump' award]
Reverend Accused Of Stealing Nearly $1M From School,
[only donates $500,000 to Mayor Street.]
Family: Missing Music Teacher Found
[presumably no longer [...]