Phrases

Greetings, folks.  This page will be made up of phrases I hear in real life.  I’m not making these up.  If you hear any, drop me a line.

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I’m just not an assplunger dot com kind of girl…..(my friend who found some interesting things on her boyfriend’s laptop)

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..the way my father used to make snails.(a coworker, who was actually trying to make a dish with snails)

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Hey - get your foot out of my pocketbook!(my wife to the dog)

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Get your foot out of that monkey.(a friend’s mother, referring to a pair of slippers)

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QUICK- hide behind that very metal big thing!(the assplunger dot com girl, whose brain frequently gets ahead of her mouth.)

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Keep your fingers crossed that it doesn’t start…

(the mechanic talking about my wife’s car that behaved perfectly every time we took it in for repair)