Every show I’ve ever played has been a total disaster for one reason or another, usually technical, sometimes due to the audience.  Even good shows have been marred by bad tech.  Today set itself up to be a large potential nightmare but almost escaped that definition.

We had a new sound company, which was a blessing.  Every year is a different sound company and every year we all wonder how they managed to find one even worse than the previous year.

The event took place at an old hotel in a humongous dingy ballroom, as usual.  We were told the sound company would be ready for us at 9am so we got there around 8:30.  When I say we, I mean everyone except Ignatz the drummer.  He always has interesting things happening to him and today was no different: one of his kids left his schoolbook home and he had to retrieve it.

Not that it mattered: the sound company put up mics and disappeared.  We were wondering if there was to be a sound check but couldn’t locate anybody to ask.  We made a little noise, hoping they could get some levels from that.

The first thing I noticed was the copious amount of radio coming from my rig.  We were performing in the heart of Radio Row in Philthydelphia and my rig responded by putting up an antenna and receiving as much radio as it could.  There was no time to troubleshoot and there was no apparent origin of the noise.  It got so bad through the p.a. that I pulled the cord out of the amp (it was coming from the vicinity of the effects board).

Then we were told to hit it for a while, so off we went.  The idea was that we were to play for a few minutes in the morning and 30 minutes in the afternoon.  We knew we must have been doing a decent job, as our bosses kept asking us to turn it down :)   We had to tell them to ask the sound guys.

Now we’re a bunch of night-owl musicians who were onstage at 9am, so it was a bit weird to begin with.   But this didn’t matter, as the people who were there already were very happy to hear us (maybe they don’t get out much either).  We did about five songs, which went over extremely well, before time was up and the rest of the fun was to start.

I got off the stage soaking wet and pretty happy about the reaction.  People were in from all over the country: little did they know that their MIS department was in possession of Weapons of Musical Destruction :)

I was the only band member who had done this before so I got to warn the crew about what they were in for.  We had to wait a few hours before we were to go back and do the Serious Set.  Lunch was served, or rather served to everyone but me.  It’s my historical inability to get served outside of the house.  Some call it invisibility.  I just smile and go about my business.

We got tuned up and ready to retake the stage after a few minor delays.  Since we were doing some appropriate tunes, I took my Les Paul onstage.  The people were really digging the band, which seemed to shock most of the band members (in a rather pleasant way).  We did Joe Walsh’s “Rocky Mountain Way”, which gave me a chance to stretch out on slide.  I brought my talkbox along for the solo part.  This is where things really got funny.  My wife, who came by for the occasion, said the reaction around the talkbox was hysterical.  Everybody started looking around for the source of the talking guitar.  VERY slowly, they started to get it.  She watched it like a very slow wave, going table to table.  She said the show was definitely not on the stage.

A lot of the earlier entertainment featured people wearing wigs, hats, and various other sorts of costume finery.  Not wishing to be left out, I located an Ike Turner wig and put it over my hat.  I looked like some sort of Beatle Nightmare or perhaps a guy with a very large tarantula on his head.   The funny part of this was that we were all standing onstage, waiting for a while for the sign to start.  I stood there, completely obvious, and watched the audience reaction to this.  Once again, table by table, they got it.  They’d start laughing, then poke their neighbor and point at me.  I watched this wave also.  It went very slowly, from table to table.

I usually have no tolerance for the Slow, but this time it was just too funny.

Then the talkbox started cutting out and the radio stations kept getting louder.  I did my best to ignore this, which wasn’t easy.  I switched back to the pukeburst Strat, my main guitar.  Last night I had to brave exhaustion to replace the volume pot and do a little rewiring.

The crowd was going NUTS.  I thought they’d be up and dancing.  Instead they were treating it like a concert, applauding like mad.  The band unanimously enjoyed it.

Meanwhile we were getting the “Let me interrupt you” signal and were told we had one song left.

Oh, that’s interesting, I thought.  We practiced for weeks and we’re doing five songs.   We quickly huddled and emerged with a plan.  The intro to “Play That Funky Music” cleared the chairs and the serious dancing started.  I’m told the show got even better at this point, with the overweight and scantily-clad women falling out of their clothes, not to mention the ones with the dresses so high that you wondered why you couldn’t see only underwear.

Here is where the differences between men and women are highlighted.  I saw a swarm of people dancing: my wife saw women competing for the attention of band members.  She said it was hilarious watching them.  I was upset that I missed this bit… I wouldn’t notice a woman hitting on me if she started to disrobe and rub against me.

Our singer is a young, good looking guy and we almost had to fight to keep the women off him.  The guy seriously needs to take advantage of this while he still can. The rest of us Olde Phartes were content to observe the follies (especially the ones whose wives were in attendance).

We finished to thunderous applause, again to our shock and surprise.  I felt like a rock star or something.  Since that’s what I really want to do, it worked out well.

Oh well, tomorrow I’ll go back to being a MIS Geek.  

Until next year.

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EQUIPMENT LIST

For the musicians, this is what I took with me:

• `77 antigua (pukeburst) lefty Strat (modded, hot pink strings)
• R9 lefty Les Paul reissue
• Fender Pro Jr (modded)
• Marshall 2×12 Jubilee cabinet
• fx board: Roger Mayer Voodoo Vibe, Dano Surf n Turf compressor, Dano Clear Tone Overdrive, RAT, Boss reverb/delay
• Rocktron Banshee amplified talkbox

Since I’ve been otherwise occupied with the unavoidable consequences of occasionally having a life, I have had much interaction with it, other than it very occasionally ringing.  I can live with that.

This morning it was time to tackle one of the most important functions: transferring multimedia files.  Being brave (and incredibly stupid) I figured I’d have a go with my choice of operating system: linux.  The small amount I’ve read indicates that the phone plays well with Mac and Windows, but who cares?  The forums don’t even mention linux, except for requests (I’m used to that).

I plugged the phone into a spare USB port, it asked me if I wanted to mount it (the storage card), I said yes, and POOF - there it was, popping up on my computer screen (Xubuntu 9.10 64 bit).  I copied over a boatload of music files (the internal player plays a bunch more formats than I thought but my interest is in MP3 and OGG).  It will not play DRM files (not that I have any).

Wow, a device that is plug and play with linux - did you ever think you’d see such a thing?  :)

—————————

The vibrating I felt is part of the feedback system (I turned it off).  In the meantime, the Exchange sync finished populating my Business Calendar (regular calendar is a Google function) and Contacts, so I feel like a whole person now :)

Contacts brought over my groups from Exchange and allowed me to set up Favorites.  This mimics the quick dial on my Treo.

—————————-

Thus far, the phone works great, sms and email are fine, and it transfers and plays music.

Overall, it’s a bit too foo-foo for me but I’ll deal with it.  It’s still better than a Crackberry or iPhone (and I don’t require Steve Jobs’ permission to install and play files).  It’s much faster and larger than my Treo, which is largely what I was looking for in the first place.

I still haven’t given it any Gmail info.

More later.

Keep in mind that my phone for the past (many) years has been a Treo 700p.  I’m a privacy and security nut, I can’t stand foo-foo pretty displays and functions, and I have already turned down the iPhone and Crackberry for various reasons.  Droid looked decent due to the open source-ness of it.

Here are my initial impressions:

• it’s black
• it’s much heavier than my Treo (observation, not a complaint)
• the keyboard is right-handed (boo!).  I am not.
• it does not look like a one-hand operating system

It’s charging now.  It appears to be simple enough on the surface.  Not sure what I’m supposed to do with it, though.  The Treo rode on its twirly attachment, attached to the clip on my pocket.  Obviously there is going to have to be some accessory shopping happening soon.  I prefer the clip route, although most everybody I know with a similar phone puts it in his pocket.  This thing would stick out like an armadillo in my trousers (Spinal Tap reference), so it’s not going to get pocketed.

Since I was way overdue for an upgrade, it cost $99.  (Yay)

The phone comes with a handy booklet, a miniscule charger, and a USB to mini USB cable for charging and data.  The cable plugs into the charger and the phone: there is no built-in cable coming from the charger (aka wall wart).  There is an internal tutorial (my Treo has one and after 7 years, I still haven’t seen it).

GOOGLE

Here is where the going gets fun.  It immediately asks for my Gmail account.  Being the privacy advocate and cloud-detester I am, I am not going to feed it any account information for as long as I can.  I am not the least bit interested in having the phone sync with my Gmail account.  What is most important to me is that the phone works (it’s Verizon and I have never had a problem with coverage or phones) and I can access email if I want to (Exchange at work, POP privately).  Oh yeah, and I love listening to podcasts and songs in the car.  This phone is equipped with a 1/8″ stereo jack, unlike the ridiculous tiny, proprietary multi-conductor jack on the Treo (that kept going bad).

• There is a Search by Voice button.  Hmm… I’m beginning to get that this thing is Cloud-ier than I had hoped.
• One can order a printed copy of the manufacturer’s User Guide/Manual by calling an 800 number.
• to make a call you go to the HOME screen then PHONE.  (odd)
• to take a call, you click on the phone button AND drag it right (really odd)
• The phone asks if Google can collect anonymous location data. (NO)

COUNTDOWN

I answered a few questions and poof, there I was.  I set up work email first (no Gmail!).  Once I had the correct settings, I sent it out to get mail (you have the choice of PUSH, NEVER, ONE DAY).  Every time I hit the menu, the entire device vibrates (maybe that’s why my friends carry it in their pockets).  And there was a day’s worth of mail.  I sent out a test to my beloved wife.

KEYBOARD

A lot has been written, very little favorable, about the Droid’s keyboard.  And rightly so.  The main complaint is the lack of a real tactile feel.  Even at many time the size of the Treo’s keys, I had a lot of trouble typing.  Since the keyboard doesn’t slide out all the way, it’s harder to access the top row of keys.  I suppose after time I’ll get it down.  I don’t spend a lot of time typing anyway.

IM

It sent a text message just fine.  In fact, the onscreen keyboard is sometimes easier to use than the slide-out keyboard.  Interesting.

There are a boatload of tones available as ringtones and IM notification.  Most of them are, from my point of view, ridiculously stupid.  These must be oriented to the urban `youth’ of today.

WEB

Web surfing is not painful at all.  This is a tremendous compliment coming from me.  Blows the Pre away.

I’ll add more as I come across it.

CIA studying boxing as potential weapon…

Obama says al Qaeda still greatest threat to U.S.

Obama’s owners are the greatest threat to U.S.

U.S. raises pressure on Pakistan over Taliban, al Qaeda

Threaten to stop sending them hundreds of millions monthly.

Catholic Bishops Draw Line in the Sand on Abortion

Why should bishops have a single thing to say on healthcare? STFU.

Swiss Government and ‘Suicide Tourism‘: Battle Looming

Hey, do you think the Swiss could use a Congress?

Democrats Now More Supportive Than Republicans of Faith-Based Initiatives

One brand of stupid is the same as another…

Routine Mammograms Before 50: Not Much Point

This is about to get really ugly, especially if it winds up in legislation…

Bush Administration Was Afraid It Would Have To Admit Telcos Helped With Warrantless Wiretaps To Get Immunity

Obama administration continues this fine work.

LINUX GEEKERY

Command line tricks for smart (linux) geeks

Top 3 Sites To Help You Become A Linux Command Line Master

Perhaps she is a Cunning Stunt then…. [I still love watching Mariah and Shakira videos with the sound off]

Manny Pacquiao Beats Miguel Angel Cotto

Huh?

Happiness Paradox: Why Are Americans So Cheery?

Up yours.

Cheney 2012?

Because we didn’t learn the first two times?

Florida Man Arrested for Calling 911, Asking for Sex

A license should be required to have children.

FAA and NORAD Changed Records to Accord with Cheney Lies

Ho hum.

Pakistani secret service given millions by CIA

What healthcare?

Genentech Puts Words In the Mouths of Congress Members

The finest Congress money can buy.

Hackers Fail To Crack Brazilian (linux) Voting Machines

Can’t have that here.

So technically, only one of these machines is an upgrade.  There is, however, no difference on the machines.  I just wish I could install the 64 bit version on the Intel machine too.

There has been a lot of bitching about Flash being wonky with 64 bit Ubuntu.  Since I hate Flash, I’m probably the wrong guy to ask.  I will tell you that it seems to work on imbedded-type messages in online bulletin boards but not going to YouTube, whatever that means.  I haven’t cared enough to go looking for a solution as yet.  Really looking forward to HTML 5, which, as I understand it, does away with Flash. (YAY!)

The most noticeable changes are the boot/shutdown times.  They’re quick.  Tiny hardware issues I had with previous versions seemed to disappear.

I would be remiss in my duties if I did not mention the new graphics, as that’s all anyone seems to be concerned about.  As I stated in my review 48 hours into things, the hideous brown has been replaced by a hideous blue (and blue is my favorite color).  I don’t care because I don’t use anything as it appears out of the box.

Whereas my prior review might have (mis)indicated my feelings about 9.10, I want to state unequivocally that I like 9.10.  Just the startup time improvement was good by me.

The systems have all been rock-solid, without exception.  When I ran the live cd on my laptop and homemade desktop before installing, it detected everything.

And once again, moving to 64 bit is the way to go - period.  It’s better than any hardware upgrade I have ever done.  During updates, the processing at the command line flies by so fast I can no longer read it.  When was the last time a Windows update did that for you?

———————————–

YOU DID WHAT WITH YOUR HOME PARTITION?

When going to upgrade my main home box to 64 bit, I realized I had not created a separate HOME partition on the drive.

ALWAYS CREATE A SEPARATE HOME PARTITION WHEN INSTALLING LINUX.  This way you can keep all of your settings and data if you install a different linux (or go from 32 to 64 bits).

Something weird happened at this point: I remembered an article I saved about what to do if you didn’t create a separate HOME partition.  Of course I couldn’t remember WHERE I put it and didn’t want to bother looking.  I cleaned off 10gigs of space and booted to 9.10 live mode.  Gparted was kind enough to allow me to create a 10g partition and keep my existing partition.  I then did an install to the new partition (/) and marked the existing HOME partition to be mounted as such.  SUCCESS!

The machine flies.  It should be more interesting when I get around to installing the additional 2g of RAM I have sitting its little box.

Surgery for the perfect vagina?  Speaking as a guy, any vagina is perfect.

“Restless Vagina Syndrome”: Big Pharma’s Newest Fake Disease

I am not making this stuff up…

Scientific Evidence Sheds Light On “Chocolate Cure” For Stress

If that were true, I’d have absolutely no stress at all.

Simon Cowell earned a staggering $75 million last year.

Which horseman is this?  I’ve lost count.

Man Says Jesus To Blame For Drug Accessories

Ah yes… we so rarely see the negative side of religion..

Suicides in U.S. Army Are on Track to Reach New High

If only Congress…

Former Vice President of Dallas Fed: Tarp Didn’t Restore Health of Banking System

Are we surprised yet?

Obama Promise To End The War, 2007 - “You Can Take That To The Bank”

A failed bank, of course.

TSA Changes Its Rules, ACLU Lawsuit Dropped

No longer illegal to carry money onto planes…

Top 10 Homemade Remedies for What Ails You

People pointed out that I’d get a free copy of Win 7 for showing up.  I wanted to take the upgrade and not get Win 7 for not showing up but I suspect my boss had other ideas.

Before you fanboys start oscillating in your shorts, I installed Windows 7 Professional on actual hardware yesterday.  I have to say that the twenty minute install time was spectacular.  It has not crashed at all.  Aside from the nearly thirty minutes it took to make 7 look closer to the way I prefer, I’m pretty happy so far.  They definitely could not have hidden the `add to domain’ function any better.

The machine is a Dell Optiplex 740 with a dual core AMD processor, which is our standard machine these days.  I bumped the RAM up to three gigs because it seemed the thing to do (and because that’s what I have in the XP machine next to it).  My intent is to run the two machines simultaneously, with the same software, to see how 7 works out.  If I like it as a desktop, we’ll start installing some of our crappy proprietary work apps to see if they all play well together.

Oh yeah, I do have one rather serious complaint about 7: it’s locking my domain account.  When I lock the OS and try to get back in, it tells me that my account is locked out.  Since I haven’t tried three (or even one) times to log in, this locking behavior is befuddling.

Mr. Microsoft

The main reason I don’t go to these things is that they’re sales presentations first and informational second.  I have zero tolerance for salespeople.  The presentation was largely via Mr. Microsoft, a fact that worried me.

It turns out that Microsoft appears to have some of their stuff together these days (moreso than Vista, which they copped to).  The question that remained echoed the most recent Mac commercial: Why should we believe you this time?

The desktop portion of the talk was very interesting and he took some questions from the peanut gallery.  My impression was that he was being pretty honest.  He even recommended thoroughly testing the OS before deploying it.

Food

This was the best steak place in the city and as such, had some really good steak.  Since I have my own way of doing things, I kinda prefer the steaks we make at home.

Anyone walking within five hundred feet of the restaurant would know we were a room full of GEEKS.  It was frighteningly apparent.  Women stayed away in droves.  We thought we saw a woman among us but it turned out she was with the vendor.  She sure smelled nice though :)

The Enterprise

They brought our attention back to the speaker, who started his presentation on the datacenter.  Here’s where things started to sound even better and get less believable.  Microsoft has started impersonating the iPhone: Yup, there’s an app for that.

Not that they didn’t have some interesting apps but it was a bit difficult to refrain from asking why we should believe them and why is this so gee-whiz when linux could do it all along?

Meanwhile I somehow managed to behave.  It became almost impossible when Mr. Microsoft decided to take a few whacks at the competition.  He actually started a sentence with “VMware has spread a lot of FUD…”

I didn’t hear the rest of the sentence.  My mind went back to the most recent Microsoft FUD about linux.   Asshats.

Let’s face it: Hyper-V is a bit late to the dance, guys.

In Conclusion

If you’re a Microsoft fanboy,  now is the time to rejoice.  They have a product or solution for every part of the journey from your desktop to the servers, including the omnipresent Cloud.  It sure looks good.  2008 R2 Server can perform miracles, although I’d certainly settle for less.

Of the assembled masses, most seemed curious and concerned.  Only one of our number was planning a Win 7 rollout soon (I hear his group is called the Special Suicide Squad but we wish him all the luck regardless).  I heard a tablemate repeat my favorite bit of Microsoft Wisdom: Wait six months or until the first service pack before adopting a new version.

The Goodies

Well, there was dessert.

Ok, and I had my choice of 32 or 64 bit Win 7 Ultimate.  I don’t even know what Ultimate is but I did choose 64 bit.  I’ve had great luck running Ubuntu since I started using 64 bit.  It’s like a wild hardware upgrade for free.

Later on I found out that the people who didn’t take advantage of the invitations received two copies of Win 7 Ultimate. Poor fellas.  [joke]

“Because we haven’t done enough damage yet!”

Fort Hood suspect contacted Islamist: sources

“We know this because we’re reading his email.  Yours too.”

House backs anti-abortion amendment

“Because we haven’t done enough damage yet!”

UBS registered mail warns U.S. clients on tax: report

The IRS: international gangsters

Vatican Looks to Heavens for Signs of Alien Life

When the Vatican starts with this, something is imminent.

How the Government Is Swallowing the Economy

Pretty soon we’ll all work for the government (not that we don’t already).

Laura Ingraham, on Fox News this morning: “Nancy Pelosi basically did everything except sell her own body to get this bill passed.”

And who, exactly, would buy it?

Big Bankers Say They’re Doing God’s Work … Are They Right?

Just like Congress, no doubt… now excuse me while I become violently ill.

British docs to get bonuses for signing up patients for H1N1 vaccine

Nothing to see here, folks. Remember: If it smells like swine….

Declassified FBI File Alleges an Israeli Intelligence Agent Worked at AIPAC

Never.  Again.

WTO chief hails “new architecture of global governance”

Just don’t call it New World Order and no one will notice.

Congressman Brad Sherman admits explosives found in dust of World Trade Center

Guess who’s off the White House Christmas card list…

ONE LINERS

US Subpoenaed All Visitor Logs From Online News Publication; Falsely Said Site Couldn’t Tell Anyone

Lew Rockwell: Why Isn’t the H1N1 Pandemic Flu Being Investigated as a Designed Bioweapon?

Google Gives the Gift of Free Airport Wi-Fi

Google Music Search

The show happens twice a year at the Valley Forge Convention Center.  Read my reviews of previous shows in the archives.

This was not a show full of surprises: guitar shows rarely are these days.

My main focus is lefties (obviously) and there were a few present, although nothing that really got me going.  I did see a Jay Turser lefty doubleneck and was advised they would make me one.. that should be interesting.  It didn’t even feel like it came with a chiropractor!

My favorite scene of the day was Wall-O-Puke.  Ok, technically it was a collection of Fender guitars and basses in the antigua finish, but it’s so ugly I call it pukeburst.  It also happens to be the finish on my number one guitar: I’d perform borderline illegal acts to find another one.

I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves (click for full size and keep a bag handy):

Now that’s a lot of pukeburst!  It was a collection that was supposed to be sold together.  It’s certainly the largest collection of antigua I have ever seen in one place.  Note the lefty P-Bass and Coronado (neither of which I was looking for).

Also present was one of the Holy Grails of Les Pauls: the Peter Green/Gary Moore Les Paul:

HEY LEFTY - SO WHAT DID YOU BUY?

I went to the guitar show and got the t-shirt.  And some 250k Fender pots.  DR strings stopped making yellow and green strings…bummer… nothing else looks good on the pukeburst.

Until the weather gets nicer again, I’m staying in.