funny

I should have known where things were headed when my boss caught me as I was walking to my desk.  For some reason no one can fathom, he must really like the way my colon smells, as he tends to spend way too much time up there micromanaging me.
Not even the first email truly clued [...]

HEALTH AND WELFARE:
Baghdad resident on the scarcity of good medical care
Just come to America, where it’s free!
Scientists say for the first time they have understood someone’s thoughts by looking at what their brain is doing.
Even though it’s not what you’d call totally accurate, it makes you wonder what the Black Ops Research Team<tm> has already [...]

When last we left our antihero, he had just flubbed an audition for a really good classic rock band.  He had not just flubbed it - he botched it so thoroughly that no one even knew he could play the guitar at all.  He strongly suspected that he showed up with someone else’s fingers on [...]

Just a short while ago it was announced that Ford would have computers in some of their cars and that the computers would have a Microsoft operating system.  So naturally I got to thinking about the end result of this:

you will have to reboot your car at least once a day

you will not be able [...]

As you no doubt have read, I’m having hard drive problems with my laptop.  It’s not so much a problem as a total failure but sometimes we like to stay optimistic (or use Classic British Understatement<tm>, even though I’m not British).
The hard drive continued to sit there and confound Spinrite.  I believe that after a [...]

I just got in from a band audition.  I don’t do this often; in fact, this is my third audition in many many years.  I have been playing the guitar for something like thirty years (God I’m old) and auditioning for almost that long.
I was a very good student when I started playing.  This was [...]

As I mentioned in yesterday’s post about the local tumult and a hundred square feet of bloody paw printed carpet, the cat injured himself yesterday.   When I last wrote, he was stationed on his own personal fluffy towel on the kitchen floor (blood comes off lineoleum better than carpet, I suspect).  My wife was going [...]

Sex at my house is not a normal event.
Don’t run; I promise not to get into any gory details.
It was just such a great line I had to use it.
—————————————————————————————–
All sorts of interesting things tend to happen coincident with and around sex.
I’m in the bedroom and notice my wife picking up the remote control.  Since [...]

I’m at work, dealing with this morning’s emergencies. My teammates are working on some serious Active Directory Windows networking issues. One of the many reasons I hate Microsoft is that the errors are random and stupid.  Whenever we are victimized by one of these errors, I refer to it as Bill’s Will. When production servers [...]

Seen in email today:
Please do not use the Canon copier/printer by the entrance. Service has been called to look at the jam. Hopefully it isn’t a raisin, like last time.
Sometimes I wonder why Mensa refuses to have meetings at our location….