funny

I’ll be honest: I don’t like sports.
In fact, to say I don’t like sports is to say that Dick Cheney doesn’t like holy water.
So now that we have an understanding, I can tell you about the vet.
The vet, you say?
The vet, I say.
What does that have to do with hockey?
I’m getting there.  Stop interrupting.
We were [...]

Yesterday I attended the PA VMware Users Group conference in a Philly suburb.  It was the subject of much discussion and anticipation among the crew, with just about everybody wishing to go. This was my first foray into user group events.
I’ll be honest: I hate salespeople.  Most of the salespeople that I meet make my [...]

HONEY, CALL THE TRAVEL AGENT

Auditors have identified over 3800 vulnerabilities in the FAA’s Web-based air traffic control applications.
Don’t you feel safer now?
LEGAL BOVINE EXCREMENT
What happens when you surf porn at work?  You can wind up with a hacking charge.
HEALTH STUFF
Five symptoms you need to know to recognize a stroke immediately.
Stroke: 7 Signs You Could Be [...]

I have never put the time I should into electronics so I’m just a minor tinkerer.  I got re-excited about it recently and have started burning myself with a soldering iron more regularly lately.
I’ve always wanted to steal design a tube guitar amp and build it.  I was nearly successful a little while back and [...]

Carrie Prejean Calls Release of Topless Photo an Attack on Her Faith
She gets implants, runs for Miss USA, goes religious all over America’s ass, and then the topless photos turn up.  Now this is an attack on her faith.  This girl should run for Congress (or worse).
2nd AMENDMENT IRONY
A student pulls a gun out of [...]

Let’s say that for some reason, the aliens haven’t been able to move technologically past the average vacuum.
If the Gray aliens have a vacuum, it’s gotta be this one.

I’m at work, minding my own business, when I get this link from a coworker.  He says he wants one.
Go check it out… I’ll wait.
I think the only modification I’d make is adding a wireless remote control that can be operated by any adult in the room.

As an IT person, I know that the fastest way to get an entire department talking, pointing, and being annoying is to bring a flat-panel monitor to someone’s desk.  You cannot even get to the recipient’s desk without five comments like this:
“Ooh - you can leave that here.”
“How come I don’t get one?”
“I’m calling the [...]

I strongly suspect this should be my epitaph.
I’m going barking f-ing mad here, people.  `They’ have finally gotten me.   No, not the illuminati.  Not the terrorists.  Not even Dick Cheney’s personal waterboarding team could do this kind of damage.  Of course I’m speaking of my coworkers.  Not my department; the entire company.
I know I work [...]

Yes, these words were put forth by Barack the O, in an effort to help the failed auto industry.  Giving billions of dollars in handouts wasn’t enough, no sir.  Now we’re in the warranty business.
“Now you can have the same faith in your car that you have in your government.”
No, wait, that’s not what I [...]