House Demands Safer P2P Apps. P2P Apps Demand Smarter Users. Personal Responsibility Curls Up and Dies.

The House Oversight and Government Reform Committee is reopening its investigation into online file sharing programs, specifically Limewire.

Now I believe anyone who uses Limewire should be investigated, but certainly not by the House.  Maybe a doctor in the house, but not the House.

The reason for the investigation?  It is claimed that the software makes it a little too easy for consumers, businesses, and even government agencies to accidentally disclose confidential records.

It sounds almost reasonable on the surface until you put your Thinking Hat on.  Since I realize that not everyone has a Thinking Hat, I will be happy to translate for you:  What they are really saying is that the idiots who use the software will not configure it correctly, causing the potential of sharing `sensitive information’.

To cut to the chase, some file sharing software chooses a directory (or three) to share with everyone.  If you are not paying attention, don’t read directions, or can’t be bothered, this usually means that your My Documents file will be shared, probably with every directory under it along for the ride.

So if you’re a rocket scientist, missile technician, NSA spook, White House pastry chef, or government p*rn-surfer, you’re going to inadvertently share out your entire computer with the world!*

To put the icing on top of the cake, the bipartisan House Committee with Nothing Better to Do is demanding that Limewire take care of the Stupid People Problem, rather than plain old Personal Responsibility (1774-2000).

I can’t tell the Committee about this, for fear of creating heart attacks in hardening arteries, but there’s this amazing device called a firewall.  It can block this sort of thing.

But wait: if you buy today, you get a free Windows Group Policy Manual, with which you can stop users from installing software.

And if you call now (because we can’t do this all day), we’ll send you not one, but two Group Policy Manuals (in case your CIO is making paper airplanes with the first one).

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The House is not resting on its laurels.  There are other initiatives happening, such as:

• suing alcohol manufacturers because people get drunk
• harassing the auto industry because the damn cars go out of control when their drivers use the phone
• requiring strict labeling on forks:  WARNING: DO NOT POKE INTO EYE REPEATEDLY.
• fining arms manufacturers because criminals use the guns for crime!
  

*Isn’t it highly ironic that people who cannot follow simple directions or `don’t get computers’ always know how to install Limewire?