Starting Today, the United States Government Will Stand Behind Your (Auto) Warranty

Yes, these words were put forth by Barack the O, in an effort to help the failed auto industry.  Giving billions of dollars in handouts wasn’t enough, no sir.  Now we’re in the warranty business.

“Now you can have the same faith in your car that you have in your government.”

No, wait, that’s not what I meant….

The government stands behind your new automobile.

Wouldn’t it be better if they stood in front?

Buy a new car - get a Congresscritter!

Who’s going to believe this?  You can’t buy a Congresscritter for that kind of money.

Buy a car - buy into your great-great grandchildren’s debt!

That one might not work for some reason….

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This could work out nicely for the buyers though.  When the warranty expires, Obama could print new ones, regardless of the dealers’ ability to service the vehicle.  Deficit Repairing!

Two years down the road, when parts really start falling off the vehicles, the government can step in and bail out the manufacturers again!

Avoid the Ted Kennedy Warranty: it’s no good in water.

The George Bush Warranty:  Claims that repairs aren’t covered because problem was caused by weapons of mass destruction.

The Al Gore Warranty:  Claims it invented warranties and doesn’t cover much.

The Nancy Pelosi Warranty:  Claims it will cover everything.  When you purchase it, it won’t cover a thing.  It’s much more expensive than the sticker said.

The Newt Gingrich Warranty:  Claims it covers everything then changes its mind and no longer believes in warranties.

The Rahm Emmanuel Warranty:  Covers GM only but it’s working for Chrysler too.

The Oprah Warranty:  Coverage keeps ballooning and shrinking but everybody loves it.

The Healthcare Warranty:  Promises to cover everything.  Covers nothing and costs twice as much as the others.

The Obama Warranty:  Keeps throwing money at the repair until it’s completely broken (and completely broke).

The Politician Warranty:  Refuses to cover anything, blames all the other warranties, keeps the money.

The AIG Warranty:  Claims it doesn’t have to pay any claims because it changed its name to the AIQ Warranty.

The Financial Industry Warranty:  We don’t have to tell you what it covers.

The Dick Cheney Warranty:  If you file a claim, it will `take you hunting’.

The Pam Anderson Warranty:  Only covers replacement parts.  It can be found in the glove compartment with several Rock Star Warranties.