Parking Wars

While I’m typing, my wife is watching Parking Wars.   In case you haven’t seen it, it’s the story of the Philadelphia Parking Authority.  There are two segments: one which follows the parking attendants and one which covers people getting their towed vehicles back.

The first thing that must occur to most humans watching this show is that it must be fake; nobody talks like that. I am here to tell you that this is not a put-on.  This is what Philthydelphians sound like.  It is actually pretty grating for me also, and I live just outside of Philly.  Whenever I hear those disgusting nasal tones, I want to dive under a table while simultaneously shouting, “Not everyone from the area sounds like that!” Philly accents make my hair fall out.

The next piece of the less than entertaining tv puzzle is that this is a reality show and as such, should be flushed into the Delaware River, with all the sewage and bodies.  If you can get past this (and I can’t), you notice that the show features tons of really stupid, angry people.  These lovely citizens stand there and verbally assault the city workers.  It takes all of about two minutes to figure out that regardless of how one feels about its policies, the city has the law on its side and the angry Philly denizens are simply wrong: they have broken the law.

The Philadelphians featured on this show are the kind of people who park in a NO PARKING ZONE, right under the sign, then verbally abuse the parking worker for ticketing them.

When the cars are booted and towed, the Angry Philthydelphians have to venture to Center City to rescue their vehicles.  They are invariably extremely agitated, short of patience, and abusive.  Did they not pay their tickets, resulting in a boot?  Yes.  But somehow it’s the city’s fault and it is necessary to take it out on the people behind the counter.

“You took a day’s pay from me!”

Gee, I dunno… I am not the one who didn’t pay the seventy parking tickets.

I’m surprised that someone from the tourist bureau hasn’t sought to have this show canceled.  Three minutes of watching this show will stop anybody from visiting Philly.  This conclusively proves that the Parking Authority produces way more revenue for the city than tourism.

Do you remember life before reality shows?

We are a nation of morons.