Happy Holidays from DC and Above…

Twas the night before Christmas, from here to L.A.

And nothing was stirring, except the NSA.

The wiretaps were placed at the phone companies

They’re listening in, from a fax to a sneeze.

The press were nestled all snug in their beds

While printing everything the government said.

And my wife with her cell phone and me with email

None of us knew we could wind up in jail.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter

I stopped in mid-email to see what was the matter.

Before I got up, I unplugged my flash

Due to economy, I had no cash

The jackboots were black on the new-fallen snow

Showing their weapons with barrels aglow.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear

But Darth Cheney, Obama, and Barney, who’s queer.

And a driver named George, with very little clue

But excellent reflexes from ducking a shoe.

More rapid than taxes the wiretaps came

And he smirked and he ordered and called them by name.

“Now Sprint! now Verizon, now AT&T!

All email, all phone calls, send them to me!”

To Congress and the courts, who just dropped the ball

Georgie just smiled and said, “Screw you all.”

With advisers like Cheney and my very own A.G.

The laws they apply to everyone but me.

Less taxes, less government, yet Big Brother grew

And some guy named Chertoff; on Christmas, a Jew

The muslims, the terror, they use all their might

While we in D.C. try to steal every right.

You think Obama will bring a new game

But the joke is on you; he’s just more of the same.

Exporting freedom, Iraq gets our tanks

The rest of our money to autos and banks

He sprang to his limo, to his team gave a whistle

He green-lit more spying and ordered more missles.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight

“The contractors got billions and we got your rights!”

Happy Holidays from your government and their masters!