How Much Sex is Too Much Sex?
- 12
- Add a Comment
Talk about a lightning rod (so to speak)….
Well, as a guy who is rarely referred to as a `typical male’, there’s no such thing.
I’m certain there are women who agree with this (although I never seem to meet any).
There is a Woody Allen movie in which this comes up. A couple goes for separate counseling. The therapist asks the female how frequently they have sex. She replies, “Always - three times a week.” The next scene she asks the male the same question. He replies, “Never - only three times a week” (or words to that effect).
I really want to handle this topic seriously.
Well, as seriously as I can.
How exactly does one gather information on this topic? It’s not like I can’t ask friends or coworkers - they’re pretty used to questions like this. But it wouldn’t exactly be scientific, would it?
So I headed to Google, where I inserted `average sex.’ The first hit was The Kinsey Institute - Sexual Information. Not bad - it’s like Google knows…
Here are a few random, nearly related but salacious nonetheless facts:
- By their late teenage years, at least 3/4 of all men and women have had intercourse
- Average age: Males 16.9 Females 17.4
- Men’s sexual fantasies tend to be more sexually explicit than women’s [NOTE TO MEN: men are visually stimulated. Women are more emotionally stimulated. Remember this.]
- 54% of men think about sex everyday or several times a day
- 19% of women think about sex everyday or several times a day
Ok, I think I can see where the gender gap is starting to have an effect. These are some pretty scary numbers. I wonder if they averaged this over age groups or not.
Now let’s stray to the meat of the topic: Frequency.
- 18-29 year olds have sex an average of 112 times per year, 30-39 year olds an average of 86 times per year, and 40-49 year olds an average of 69 times per year
- 23% of non-married men reported they have never had sex in the past year, 25% reported only a few times in the past year, 26% reported a few times in the past month, 19% reported 2-3 times a week, and 7% reported 4 or more times a week
- 32% of non-married women reported they have never had sex in the past year, 23% reported only a few times in the past year, 24% reported a few times in the past month, 15% reported 2-3 times a week, and 5% reported 4 or more times a week
- 1% of married men reported they have never had sex in the past year, 13% reported only a few times in the past year, 43% reported a few times in the past month, 36% reported 2-3 times a week, and 7% reported 4 or more times a week
- 3% of married women reported they have never had sex in the past year, 12% reported only a few time in the past year, 47% reported a few times in the past month, 32% reported 2-3 times a week, and 7% reported 4 or more times a week
- 13% of married couples reported having sex a few times per year, 45% reported a few times per month, 34% reported 2-3 times per week, and 7% reported 4 or more times per week
Thus spake Kinsey.
Argree, disagree, or care to brag a bit?
WHY DO I BRING THIS UP?
Excellent question.
My wife, ever the statistician, mentioned to me the other day that she has checked around with friends and family, and that by comparison, I have a Rather Large Libido. She hastened to add that this was just an item of curiosity, not necessarily a complaint (it was a complaint).
Eager to see the stats, I checked my numbers against the Kinsey numbers. It would seem that for a married guy, I am in the forty-third percentile, as it were. Now the forty-third percentile doesn’t seem all that odd or out of character, until you consider that I’m at this level by circumstance, not by choice. If I had my choice, I’d jump to the next category. This still isn’t all that odd, meaning I’m not in the `four or more per week’ bin.
As I might have mentioned, my wife is not always physically well enough for Mattress Dancing (or anything involving chandeliers, not to mention my acrophobia).
If, by some strange circumstance, I were not married, things could either be a total wash or looking up, depending on being able to locate a female who will agree to be operated upon thusly. Attempting to remember back to being single, I seem to remember extra-clothing activities taking up rather a lot of my time (no, I am not referencing begging).
Perhaps we need to gather some Internet Statistics.
What is normal-single?
What is normal-married?
What is normal during the honeymoon phase of any relationship - married or single?
What is over-the-top?
At what point do you introduce PVC?
Do you have any pictures (for scientific value only)?
12 Comments
Carolin Dahlman
November 17th, 2008
at 8:37pm
I think we would have more good sex if we started communicating our needs and wants. Today there is a lot of bad sex out there, because we don’t dare to speak up. Check my videos about this on: http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=sGaU74XAXtw and http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=8w0cT8uoFUg
more then enough
November 17th, 2008
at 10:10pm
one word: Asian. I was going to say more, but just can’t at this time.
PK
November 18th, 2008
at 12:05pm
I read one report that said that a man think about Sex as many times as a woman thinks about shopping …
Even though woman are emotionally stimulated, Its tougher then visual stimulus … so automatically even if man is great at giving emotional stimulus he will be exhausted with tricks and it will be better for him to look for more then one woman for sex.
having children also effect woman interest in sex a lot..
mohdrafiq
December 8th, 2008
at 4:10am
i want to know how much man & womon sex required per age between 25 to 35. how to increase sex power daily?
E.J
December 11th, 2008
at 8:15pm
But is there such a thing as too much sex?
The answer, in purely physiological terms, is this: If you’re female, probably not. If you’re male? You betcha.
Dr. Claire Bailey of the University of Bristol says there is little or no risk of a woman’s overdosing on sex. In fact, she says, regular sessions can not only firm a woman’s tummy and buttocks but also improve her posture.
Dr. George Winch Jr., an obstetrician/gynecologist in Elko, Nev., concurs. If a woman is pre-menopausal and otherwise healthy, says Dr. Winch, her having an extraordinary amount of intercourse ought not to pose a problem. “I don’t think women can have too much intercourse,” he says, “so long as no sexually transmitted disease is introduced and there’s not an inadvertent pregnancy. Sometimes you can have a lubrication problem. If you have that, there can be vaginal excoriation–vaginal scrape.”
Women who abstain from sex run some risks. In postmenopausal women, these include vaginal atrophy. Dr. Winch has a middle-aged patient of whom he says: “She hasn’t had intercourse in three years. Just isn’t interested. The opening of her vagina is narrowing from disuse. It’s a condition that can lead to dysparenia, or pain associated with intercourse. I told her, ‘Look, you’d better buy a vibrator or you’re going to lose function there.’”
As for men, urologist Eid says it’s definitely possible to get too much of a good thing, now that drugs such as Viagra and Levitra have given men far more staying power than may actually be good for them.
The penis, says Eid, is wonderfully resilient. But everything has its limits. Penile tissues, if given too roistering or prolonged a pummeling, can sustain damage. In cases you’d just as soon not hear about, permanent damage.
“Yes,” says Dr. Eid, “It is possible for a young man who is very forceful and who likes rough sex, to damage his erectile tissue.” The drugs increase rigidity; moreover, they make it possible for a man to have second and third orgasms without having to wait out intermission.
“I see it in pro football players,” says Eid. “They use Viagra because they’re so sexually active. What they demand of their body is unreasonable. It’s part of playing football: you play through the pain.” This type of guy doesn’t listen to his body. He takes a shot of cortisone, and keeps on going. And they have sex in similar fashion.”
There’s a reason the penis, in its natural state, undergoes a period of flaccidity: That’s when it takes a breather. The blood within it is replenished with oxygen. “During an erection,” explains Eid, “very little blood flows to the penis. During thrusting, pressure can go as high as 200 mil of water. Zero blood flows into penis at that time.” To absorb oxygen, the tissue must become relaxed. “If you do not allow the penis to rest, then the muscle tissue does not get enough oxygen. The individual gets prolonged erections, gets decreased oxygen to tissue, and could potentially suffer priapism.” (We recommend you get a medical encyclopedia and look it up.) “The muscle becomes so engorged, it’s painful. Pressure inside starts to increase. Cells start dying. More pressure and less blood flow. Eventually the muscle dies. Then there’s scarring. That’s why it’s considered an emergency.”
http://www.forbes.com/2003/10/08/cz_af_1008health.html
leftystrat
December 14th, 2008
at 9:36pm
ej: thanks for the great info. I read it at work and there were a lot of guys sitting there, crossing their legs :)
Because of your info, I am cutting down on sex.
I hate to do it, but I pink-slipped three of my girlfriends.
If nothing else, it will leave me more time for my main girl (and my wife). —> kidding
During one of those commercials, I overheard a female friend talking back to the tv: “If you experience an erection lasting longer than four hours, call ME!”
cherolynn
April 1st, 2009
at 6:55pm
I have sex a few times a day… and I realized that I am emotionaly and visualy stimulated…is that weird…idk..I was lookin 4 a straight forward answer is there a such thing as too much sex…
leftystrat
April 1st, 2009
at 9:59pm
cherolyn: I don’t think we can have a static definition of too much. The clinical definition (addiction) is when it starts interfering with things like one’s job and eating.
I guess so long as no one’s complaining….
If you feel it might be too much, it may be worth looking into.
evaklipper
April 9th, 2009
at 4:43am
cherolyn and leafystrat: I agree that there probably shouldn’t be a static definition of “too much”. I am also on the upper end of the spectrum when it comes to my libido. i even asked my boyfriend the other day, “do normal people have sex this much?” We separately took this online quiz, although it probably shouldn’t be used for diagnostic purposes, it got me thinking in the right direction. and honestly, if it is not a preoccupation that interferes with family, work, etc. you are probably fine. Although sex addicts often use sex to try to fill unfulfilled emotional needs. If you find yourself doing this, you may just need to explore other ways to feel some loving! http://www.sexhelp.com/index.cfm hope this helps!
Mrs.Jess
August 8th, 2009
at 7:32am
I was wondering this question because in the back of my mind I feel like my husband and I have too much sex. We have sex at least 6 times a week sometimes its about 10-12 times a week depending on what is going on. I never thought of my self as addicted to sex but it must be something if studies show that only 7% of married woman have sex like 4 times a week. Another thing is I heard all of these stories about once you have kids, you become less or uninterested in sex but we have 2 kids and go at it like when we first started having sex in the beginning of the relationship.
Mr. T
September 22nd, 2009
at 1:24pm
Wow Mrs. Jess: I wish my girlfriend and I had sex that often.
I think it is sad that only 7% of married women have sex 4 times a week, don’t stop for fear of being special!!
sexpot
November 23rd, 2009
at 2:07pm
This is great me (28) and my rather adventerous partner (40)do it on average 15 times a week and we have kids too. I dont think you could have sex too much. The best advice I can offer is if its painful stop and try when you have fully recovered. Our doc also advised us to have more now thats a result. As a woman I am proberly above average but feel that if enough attension is payed to your partners needs emotional and otherwise you too could have a happy healthy sex life.