The Sarah Palin beauty contest video

I just located a copy.  It’s a 1990s Miss Alaska pageant and there’s our proud future vice-presidential candidate, strutting her stuff and looking for all the world like, well, Miss Alaska.

Now you’re probably thinking to yourself `Oh great - here he goes.  He’s going to bash Sarah Palin up one side and down the other.’

I hate to disappoint you, people, but I’m not going there.  Since I’m way too frequently accused of being a liberal, I’m going to use this as an exercise in creativity and give you:

TOP REASONS BEING IN A BEAUTY PAGEANT QUALIFIES YOU TO BE VICE PRESIDENT

1. ability to stand there looking good
2. say nothing - just wave and smile
3. people only guess you don’t have a thought in your head
4. you’re purely ceremonial and have no real use
5. if you can get through a squad of backstabbing beauty contestants….
6. no one will ever pick on your legs when you wear shorts
7. if you don’t know the answer, dazzle them with cleavage
8. if you can balance in those heels, imagine what you’ll do for the budget!
9. do nothing - just nod and clap for the person in front of you
10. without the right support, the entire superstructure will collapse