I did a little research and settled on the Asus eee pc 1000, largely due to its largely. The screen is bigger than the rest, as is the keyboard. It got very good reviews. My application is a monitoring and doing emergency repairs on my network remotely.

I liked the Dell because it came with Ubuntu, but it would also take longer to order. The 1000 comes with some flavor of Xandros. The box in which it arrived was very small.. Too small for a laptop, or at least the ones I’m used to receiving.

When I opened it, it contained a smaller box. ACK! Somehow the photos and reviews didn’t prepare me for such a tiny box (and I hadn’t opened it yet). Most of the box was taked up by things that weren’t the pc. It came with an adorable little pouch, which didn’t seem to be geared to handle anything but the laptop itself.

Speaking of the laptop itself, it’s small. When I first set eyes on it, I was thankful I got the 1000, as opposed to the smaller 900 series. It’s black, largely because I ordered it that way. Some high-functioning village idiot wrote in his review of this machine that it got fingerprinted very quickly. Yes, never mind the performance… it’s ICKY-POO!

If you took an average sheet of paper and placed it over the 1000, you would completely obscure it. A total eclipse of the pc.

But never mind what I think…. I was very curious about what some coworkers would say, as we’re considering purchasing a few of these for the people who can’t deal with full size laptops on trips. It was very interesting to watch the reactions… I should have turned on the camera and recorded it all (yes, it has a 1.3mp camera above the display). The first lady giggled at the size but as soon as she got to typing thought it was pretty functional. My boss was pretty impressed. It’s also less than half of what our regular laptops cost.

Another coworker made squeaking noises, almost as if talking to a baby. Look… it’s so cuuuute! Someone from another department said it’s so small, but this is a comment I get all the time from women, so I try not to take it to heart. Meanwhile she’d like to replace her department’s laptop with one of these.

MY TEST

It was hours before I got home and had a chance to power it up. I deliberately didn’t pick up any manuals to try to put myself in the mind of someone who had never seen it before. Clicked the battery on the laptop, plugged it in, and zoom - it was on. Startup was pretty dang fast, no doubt thanks to the solid state 20G hard drive (you can get a larger mechanical drive with the 1000H, but it only comes with XP).

A few screens later, I was looking at the desktop. The performance was snappy. You can set the speed of the unit or let it manage things for itself. This is a battery-saving tactic. The laptop `sat’ in my lap a bit awkwardly but at least didn’t leap to the floor. When I started to type, all sorts of interesting words were coming up on the screen. I could make a lot of money if I could speak in whatever language I typed.

At this point I understood what all the reviews told me: touch-typing isn’t going to happen. I asked five coworkers what touch-typing was and got blank stares. Turns out it’s typing without looking, which I do. It’s more of an intelligent hunt and peck operation. This is a very important point if you haven’t tried a tiny laptop yet.

I was curious as to what would come up, considering this had linux and was intended for the masses. As a linux user I was disappointed but while pretending to be a consumer, I was pretty impressed by the user-friendliness. I can honestly say that almost any idiot can sit down, plug this in, and start using it. The custom desktop/menu is set up in tabs, with selections like WORK, PLAY, INTERNET. Each tab features large icons and a one or two word program description.

I’m not going to say that any carbon-based lifeform could hook up the wireless but that would follow with any laptop at all. It’s still pretty intuitive. Precisely because it’s so intuitive, I’m going to shove it in the face of my friend the Mac worshipper. Also because it’s so easy, I located a special version of Xubuntu for the eee pc. It’s not that I don’t use the GUI…. it’s just that this one is appropriate for five year olds, fifty-five year olds, and possible eighty year olds.

The display is bright and easy to see. It’s just a really weird shape and resolution (1024×600 on most in this class). The sound is surprisingly loud for a little box. The video is exactly what it’s supposed to be.

Features:

* Atom 1.6GHz processor, 1G RAM, 20G solid-state hard drive
* 10″ display (most are 8.9″)
* onboard sound, wireless, bluetooth
* 3 USB, 1 VGA, 1 SD card slot, 1 RJ45 ethernet jack
* external power supply (with velcro ties!)
* 2-3lbs (roughly)

INITIAL THOUGHTS:

It’s too damn small. Yes, I’m tired of hearing it and you will be too. Do you want people laughing at the size of your laptop? I didn’t think so.

No, really, it’s too damn small. I normally don’t have a problem with older, larger technology. I have two humongous 20+” crt displays on my desk. My car has two area codes. My real laptop has a 15.4″ screen. I’d carry it everywhere with me but it’s also a bit heavy.

The display is just fine, aside from size. Audio is fine. Haven’t checked out battery life yet. The speed is fine - no complaints.

I’m going to try typing on it for a while but I suspect this will be the deal-breaker. If I can’t get used to it almost immediately, it will go to someone else who can put it to better use.

I will put Xubuntu on it tonight. It definitely suffers from lack of an optical drive but considering its format, it’s understandable. If I need more storage there’s an online deal (like I’d use that) and I can attach as much storage as I can throw at it via the SD slot and USB. Whatever I wind up with will also get a cellular modem also. Some of the very new laptops actually have them built-in. The new Dells (E4200-4300) have them.

At this point I’m supposed to be telling you that I’m typing the review on the 1000. I’m not, though, largely due to having to monkey with my locked-down router before I can connect anything new to it. And because I really don’t like the user interface (this is personal opinion only - everyone else will probably love it).

Women seem to love the hell out of the 1000 because of its size and shape. If you know anyone who would refer to a computer as cute, she’s the one you want to show the 1000.

In this class, price tends to fluctuate but you can expect to stay between $300 and $600. You can purchase the eee pc 900 series for a decent amout less than the 1000 but you’ll be getting a smaller display and keyboard - you have to think about that. These Asus units tend to get very good ratings. The Dell Mini Inspiron 9 did too. Both are at the higher end of the price range.

I suppose a possible question would be where to go if I can’t use the 1000. The nettops, as they’re called, are a very unique class. The only laptops that approach the size and weight are hideously expensive. Economically, our stock laptops cost $1200 and the 1000 was about $500. I am not willing to spend $2-3 thousand on a super-slim pocket rocket of a laptop from any manufacturer. Are there any between ranges?