did you ever almost die?

Over at the Fun with Tubes group at Yahoogroups, they were discussing ways in which they almost killed themselves with electronics/electricity.

I got to thinking about the ways in which I almost killed myself.  Most of them, oddly enough, didn’t involve electricity, although a few did…

* At 18, I had concurrent hepatitis and mono.  I didn’t even know it.  I thought everybody saw spots.  Went to the doctor, who told me not to go home; go straight to the hospital.  I still didn’t feel that bad but figured something was up due to the 15 minute temperature checks.  I got the point when a nurse said, “104 - time to panic.”

* I have played the guitar since I was 12.  I noticed that every now and then the lights would dim when I played and touched a microphone.  Years later I asked someone about that and he told me the lights never dimmed.  Apparently I was electrocuting myself and my lights were dimming.    From that point I used a wireless transmitter from my guitar so that would never happen again.  It also helps me because there’s no guitar cord to trip over.  Unfortunately I’m so talented that I can trip over almost anything.

* I have been playing with electronics for almost as long as I’ve been playing guitar.  I learned to test a 9v battery with my tongue.  Since discovering it bothers my wife, I do it more frequently.  I’ll touch it to my tongue, she’ll make a face, then I’ll announce it was fresh and 9.3 volts.  I have gotten bitten with up to  four hundred volts or so in guitar amps.  It tends not to bother me too much (or it explains a lot of things).

I think I have an electric guardian angel.  I have to, as I just don’t have it in me to remember silly stuff like unplugging an amp before I work on it or discharging the caps first.  My middle school was very interesting in that it had an electronics shop.  I loved it because here was one of my favorite hobbies as an official school activity.  I didn’t get enough out of it as the teacher was always busy with the kids who needed the most help.  I was allowed to go ahead with my studies, which was when I started to learn about attention-deficit disorder.  I completely overlooked the polarity on some capacitors, which exploded with resounding fury :)

Later on I was shown the proper way to blow stuff up.  You plug low voltage components into a remote-control outlet strip and turn on the power from far away.  BOOM-CRACK-PIFF-FIZZLE-POP, they all blow up a safe distance away, yet still scare the crap out of everyone in the area.

I figure that when I do finally bite it, it’s going to be of my own doing.  Not on purpose, mind you.. I could never do that.  It will be as a result of forgetting some small important step, like not applying five thousand volts til after you have moved away or something….

The smart money, however, seems to be an oral cause of death.  As in something I said causing my death.

Why in the world would anybody say something like that?