Chrysler announces WiFi-enabled cars: “We want to make the radio itself a WiFi port,” a spokesperson said. The service will require a subscription to a wireless phone carrier.

I thought it a good sign that in-car video wasn’t doing that well. Now we can get wi-fi in the car. Yes folks, here’s another thing you can do instead of driving…. I mean while driving.

Imagine the hilarity that will ensue when you ignore that stop sign because you were checking your email!

When the officer asks you what happened, just show him your p*rn. No ticket!

You can blow through a drunk stop… you didn’t see it because you were on the phone, on Mapquest, in IM, and Googling `britney naked.’ It’s not like you can smoke in the car anymore anyway - what else is there to do?

Electronics geniuses are working on computerized ways to `watch’ drivers and alert them if they are falling asleep (just hit snooze). There is already an alcohol ignition interlock, which won’t let the car start if you smell of booze. Someone just suggested they be put in all cars and the drivers pay for them. Mothers Against Drunk Drivers. Drunks Against Mad Mothers. All of this energy on prevention and now we’re going to go wi-fi in the car.

I’m waiting for the Cone of Silence, personally.