I have a dear friend, in whose living room appeared a bright, shiny red compressor. I was enthralled by this unique piece of decorating and set about getting one of my own…. I’m decorating-impaired and have to take tips wherever I find them.

Years later, I still haven’t found that compressor in that color, so my living room is compressor-less.

Just when I thought it was ok to rest on my severely degraded decorational abilities, a humongous black, 6′ tall Craftsmen tool multi-unit cabinet appeared in her dining room.

I was livid.

How the hell was I, an underpaid network administrator, supposed to keep up with the Smiths when the Smiths’ tool monolith was worth more than my entire tool collection?

I shiver to think of what Spring Redecorating will mean for them, but I suspect it will involve an engine lift in the kitchen or a dynamometer in the bathroom.