I drove my coworker to work the other day. This tends to happen in inclement weather (which, living in the Philly metro area, is almost daily). He rides a bike mostly. When I say bike, many images spring to mind. Big, hairy, fat old dudes on Harleys. Skinny insane fellas pedaling madly and praying they don’t get run over by cars (or big, hairy, fat old dudes on Harleys). My coworker rides the middle ground, otherwise known as a scooter-ish kinda thingie. I say this without prejudice but more as a description.

The irony is pretty thick before we even get started. His bike gets some frightening amount of miles per gallon. My car, well…. back when gas was cheap, I used to drive around the block and watch the gas gauge go down for entertainment. My cars is the Land Yacht and the wife’s is the White Whale. Suffice it to say that the front and rear seats are in different area codes. You can carry on two completely separate arguments in the front and rear seats without ever disturbing the other combatants. You need an intercom to chat with the people in the rear. I told my coworker that if his bike ever broke, we could always put it in the back seat without worrying about it taking up too much room. Or in the trunk, which sleeps twelve (twenty four if you slice them correctly).

So this fine fellow and I were discussing gas mileage and the fact that our employer has a hybrid vehicle or two with a name that sounds suspiciously like `penis’. It is alleged to get something in the neighborhood of thirty-some miles per gallon. Quite frankly, I’m not impressed.

My passenger mentioned his old Toyoter or something, which achieved forty-some miles per gallon standing on its head.

He makes a really good point.

Mind you, I get to feel superior these days because those damn SUVs get even worse mileage than my land yachts.

And the point here (and rest assured, there is a point here - I’m just a little confused as to where I put it) is that in spite of $100+ per barrel oil gouging, we’re still buying gas-guzzlers. Our single half-hearted attempt at cleaning things up is a hybrid that gets only slightly better mileage than economy cars.

Yeah, we’re right on top of it.