Now that we’re down to a very small (but no less evil) playing field, I figured I’d take a look at what exactly qualifies the remaining candidates to run for high office (besides possibly being high).   As best I can figure it, it goes like this:

[Hillary]

Vote for me because I have the experience.  I was president already for eight years.  What more  could you ask for?  I’m already twice the man that my opponents are.
[Obama]

You should vote for me because I’m black.  I’m all about change.  That would be a pretty big change, wouldn’t it?

[McCain]

You know, being a Vietnamese prisoner of war uniquely qualifies me to be president.   I have already been in a tiny cage, with people poking me with sticks for weeks on end.  If nothing else, I’ll make it through sessions of Congress.

If I weren’t voting for the only almost sane candidate (Ron Paul),  I’d be suggesting the One True Candidate.  My ideas for the One True Candidate are:

1. M. Mouse

2. NOTA - None of the Above

3. No Confidence

4. ABC - anyone but current

Think about it…. As I said above, Hillary has already been president and didn’t exactly do a bang-up job while in office.  Her administration was of note if for nothing other than the record number of suicides of friends and associates (honestly, he shot himself in the head twelve times and hid the gun).

Obama has not a leg on which to stand.

McCain?  Please.  This was the senator who, when President Stupid wanted to send more troops to Iraq, thought we should send even more.  You don’t have to guess where this critter stands (or whose cash lines his coffers).  He would be even worse than Bush, if you can imagine that one.

There is no difference between the two alleged parties.  There is only one party - the party of Greed.  You’re gonna get it up the wazoo regardless of who gets in.  The only difference may be lubrication (which Universal Healthcare won’t cover).

It’s also very difficult to get an accurate count of the votes when the parties own the voting machines.

But I digress ……