I come down the steps to find the tv on. This is not odd in our house, even when there are no bipeds about. My wife `leaves the tv on for the pets.’ Thus far they have expressed no preference for channel. I suspect the cat monitors what the dog watches so he can change the channel on him, but I’ve never seen it.

Anyway, on the way by, I notice the horror channel logo in the lower right hand corner (LMN). I love my pets and would never stand for torturing them, so I rushed to find the remote.

That’s when I stopped and my blood ran cold.

There was Kim Delaney, in a state of minor undress. Like dividing by zero, it did not compute.

Do I rush to get the estrogen-filled Ladies Menstrual Network off my tv before it hurt someone or wait to see how much more naked Ms Delaney was going to get?

It worked out decently… the wife and dog returned with coffee and donuts. She put on a proper horror channel, I got coffee, and the dog got a cardboard container to shred all over the carpet we put down yesterday.