I have discovered that one in three men will face prostate problems. I don’t know about you but I’m not that flexible.

Furthermore, if you don’t take care of your prostate, you’ll have trouble with your lycopenis. (listen up, wimmen!)

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Yesterday we stopped at Waffle House. For some reason, we don’t have them locally. While ordering, it occurred to me that I like my women like I like my hash browns: slashed, hashed, smashed, and mutilated.

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I also learned that if my wife feels she’s `worth it,’ she’ll look like Heather Locklear. Unfortunately we can’t afford the plastic surgery. Or the shampoo.