The customer said, “No it’s just the web browser that’s not working. My other internet stuff is working. I’m chatting with my friends right now.”

And the agent said, “Well. No, you internet is not working.” [Yes, he argued with the customer over what was working.] This basically didn’t work out very well and I don’t imagine the customer was very happy at the end of the call, but we only get to listen to 45 minutes of the call.

And after the 45 minutes, well then we don’t get to listen anymore. It would have been nice to listen to the end, but looking at the notes that the agent left at the end, he had no clue what was going on. He never checked the IE settings, never checked internet options, never checked proxy settings, never cleaned the cache, never cleaned the temp, never cleaned the cookies. You know… skipped some of the basics. That stuff.

It’s amazing how many people work at this company, are supposed to be A+ certified, and don’t know how to trouble shoot a network. I have to say the majority of calls are network problems. Especially wireless. It’s insane how bad they are at wireless troubleshooting. You’d think that this would be covered in training. Well it is, very briefly. But still… there’s some common sense stuff. Every agent will disable the factory installed application and turn on WZC, and when that connects they’ll say “Oh, you’re fine, goodbye.” Except it’s not because they’re not even supporting everything they’re supposed to. Oh, by the way, if you ever call tech support for a wireless problem and they turn on WZC and don’t use the factory installed application, which is probably better, then uh… give ‘em hell about it. Please. For QA’s sake. [repetitive/removed] It’d be nice to have somebody go off on an agent for being an idiot. In fact, we’d all get a laugh out of it. And we need some laughs because honestly these are horrible calls. There isn’t… well ok I’d say there isn’t one, but there are a few who can actually take a call, troubleshoot, and follow the policies that they have to follow. And there’s not that many. [There’s not even a script they have to follow.] They do have an order that they should do things in, but it’s an order that covers the 1st 3 minutes of the call and the last 30 seconds of the call isn’t that hard to follow. I mean, I wouldn’t think so but apparently it is.

This has been edited from the original recording, Edits are enclosed with brackets [].
If you want to view the original video or others in the series you can do so here

So you have a Dell computer and you need to call Tech Support for some reason, but you don’t want to spend hours on the phone while you’re doing basic troubleshooting. This guide will help get you ready to call Dell, get to the right queue (Yes, Desktops, Notebooks, Inspiron, Dimension, and XPS all have different queues and the people who answer those calls can’t help you if you don’t have the computer they’re allowed to support.) It will also help you skip going over the “basics” while you’re on the phone and get right to fixing the problem.

How am I going to skip all the “basic” stuff? Well, Dell is so great that they offer the EXACT SAME database that their tech supports have access to, to you. Yes, you read right, the EXACT SAME database. Why does Dell do this? It’s for reducing your time spent on the phone with the Tech Support Agent. (This is better for the customers and better for Dell; most people don’t like spending time on the phone, and the less time an agent has to spend talking to you the more money Dell can save.)

Now, how to skip the time waisted on troubleshooting the “basics” over the phone. The first step is to get to a computer that works. If your computer works and can get online, all the better. Open your browser and go to HYPERLINK “http://support.dell.com” http://support.dell.com just like that. From there you’re going to click on Troubleshooting and FAQs Now, it’s asking for your Service Tag.

The Service Tag. This is something a lot of people have a hard time finding when they’re on the phone. You’re lucky though if you’re at the above website and you’re on your Dell. Click the option for “Enter a Tag.” Then click “Find My Service Tag.” It’ll ask you to run an Active X control and then it’ll fill in your Service Tag for you. Write this down; you’ll need it when you call Tech Support.

If you had to go to another computer, then you have a bit of work to do. You can always look on the top for a black or silver sticker (if you have a desktop) it will say HYPERLINK “http://www.dell.com” www.dell.com on the top and list your Service Tag and Express Service Code. If you have a notebook, look on the bottom, a plain white sticker with a barcode will have your Service Tag and Express Service Code. These can be quite small, so if you’d like something easier to read and your Dell will turn on, then you have a couple options. If Windows will boot, click on Start (or the Windows Perl), go find the Dell folder, and open the Express Service Code program. This will give you your Service Tag (Numbers and letters) and your Express Service Code (all numbers). These are unique to your computer and will allow the person on the phone to access your account. If Windows doesn’t start, you can go into the BIOS by pressing F2 when you see the Dell logo. You’ll end up at a blue screen with a menu on the left and a wide space on the right. Look for “System Info” under “System” (If you don’t see it, highlight “System” and push “enter”.) Right there is your Service Tag. Again, write this down.

Now, back on the Dell website, you’ve put in your Service Tag and you have a new screen. The model of your computer is in bold. Write this down as well. On this page is a search box under “Search Dell Solutions Network” This is what we want. This is the Anti-Google so you want to be vague. Your computer won’t start? Type “No power” Usually the first couple results will have what you want. Under Content Type look for “Wizard” this will give you a step by step guide on what troubleshooting to do you for your computer. Once you’re done you’ll either have your problem fixed without having to call Dell at all, or you’ll be told “STEP: Contact Dell Technical Support” When you see that look up on the top or the bottom of the page is something called a “Journal ID” or just “Journal” Write this number down also.

Now it’s time to get ready call Dell. If you only have your Service Tag you’ll need to get your Express Service Code. This is how the computer system gets you to the right person to talk to and you avoid being transferred. If you already have the Express Service Code from earlier, GREAT! If not, go look for it using the steps above. The phone will ask for this and will direct your call based on what information you can provide. So, if you don’t want to be transferred, it’s a really important thing to have. (It’s easier for the agent to understand someone reading the Express Service Code than it is to read the Service Tag because the Express Service Code is all numbers.)

The model of computer you have also determines which phone number you should call. (If you don’t have your Express Service Code you have a better chance of ending up at the right person if you call the right number.) If you have a Dimension or Inspiron computer then you want to call 1-800-624-9896. For XPS customers, 1-800-232-8544. These are both 24/7 support numbers. Be ready to put in your Express Service Code and also give this to the Agent. Also give the agent YOUR name. (Unless changes are being made to data on the system or a part needs to be sent out, the agent DOES NOT need the name of the person who purchased the computer, so DON’T GIVE IT TO THEM. If they refuse to troubleshoot, ask for their supervisor; after you ask three times they MUST escalate you, or they could lose their job.) Also give them your DSN Journal ID (DSN is short for Dell Solutions Network and it’s what the agents know the database as.) They will probably be surprised that you have this but it will tell them what steps you have already done. DO NOT REPEAT ANYTHING YOU HAVE DONE. There is no reason for them to ask you to repeat anything. Again, ask for their supervisor if they do.

There you go. That’s how to minimize your time on the phone. But wait. Why do you have to do this troubleshooting? Why can’t Dell just send someone out to do this for you? Isn’t that what you paid for? Well its not; in your warranty you agreed to troubleshoot with the phone or chat agent and Dell would only send someone to you if you paid for that level of service and a part needs to be replaced in your computer that you don’t feel comfortable replacing yourself.

I hope you find this information valuable and use it to your advantage.

Welcome to Interplanetary flight 66. If you have not yet boarded our flight please make sure you store any loose objects in your glove compartment as levitation can cause them to become dangerous at face level.

If you continue to experience static or interference please make sure that all electronics are turned off, this will save battery life for you drive back home and free you from having to get a jump start.

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These are things that will make your tech support or customer service call experience better for you and for the person on the other line. Granted, some people can have you yell and scream at them and be fine with it and still help you as best as possible; but the natural human instinct is to treat people how they treat you.

First, when you call, make sure you gather all the information possible. If you have a computer, make sure you have the information that will identify that computer. (Service code, serial number, ect) This goes for most technological hardware. If you have a problem with an account somewhere, make sure you have your account name or number ready and information that can identify YOU as someone who should have access to make changes to the hardware or account.

After you have that information, call the company and do the thing you don’t want to; follow the computer prompts. If the system is designed and working correctly this is the FASTEST way to get you to someone who can help you. (Computer companies might have their tech support split up based on what model of computer you have, for instance, so “Tech Support” isn’t a good response without the computer system knowing WHAT computer you have, or else you’re going to be transferred around to different people.) In some companies, the same person can handle multiple types of computer systems, but sometimes the tech support representative is only allowed to handle a specific model of computer. Or if you don’t mind being transferred then do what you can to get a person as quickly as possible, but don’t get frustrated if you’re not transferred to the right person.

Now, are you calling the right company? Do you have a problem with something that didn’t come with your computer? Or was it a “Retail” piece of software? Is this something you bought extra to go with your technology? You might find out that the company you’re calling can’t help you with that. Why not? Because they’re not allowed to, and because they don’t have the training in order to provide you with the best service possible. And if something’s really broken with it, there’s nothing they can do about it.

So, now that you have the tech or customer service rep on the phone, they need to gather some information from you. This is to help them make sure they’re able to bring up the right computer information and they know who they’re talking to. Sometimes, it’s even so that they can get in touch with you if the call is disconnect for some reason.

Calmly explain your problem, with as much detail as possible. If it’s a technical problem and you have an error message, give the tech the exact error message that you had. (Be ready to give everything, including the ‘bunch of numbers’ to the tech; it’s the best chance you have of getting the issue resolved.) Being as detailed as possible is the best way to get your problem fixed. Not to mention, it makes the job easier for the person on the other end of the line.

Remember, the person on the other side of the phone might not even work directly for the company. Chances are they don’t and they’re just doing what they’re told to do by far too many people. Some companies teach their people to get you off the phone as quickly as possible. Others tell their techs/reps to do what it takes to fix the problem the customer has.

So what do you do if you get someone who can’t seem to help you? Calmly ask for a supervisor; ask more than once. Don’t demand it, but ask. Generally, the conversation that goes on between the supervisor and the person you’re talking to will either go along the lines of, “This is the problem this person has; I’m not able to do anything but maybe you can.” (In the case of a non-technical problem such as a complaint about services provided or billing.) Or, “This person is complaining about this and they probably don’t have anything really wrong.” (In the case where the user perceives a problem because the computer is not acting the way they think it should act.) You can figure out which conversation happens if you’re constantly nice to the tech/rep. If you haven’t been nice, then the supervisor will hear about your tone of voice and word choice.

If you’re nice to the people you talk to, they’ll be more willing to help you solve your problem and hope you will remain a customer because when you call in for help you don’t increase the stress levels of the technicians on the other end of the line. Companies will “terminate their relationship” with people who are a constant nuisance. That means they’ll refund your money, take their product back, and never do business with you again. Every company has a limit to how far they’ll go to keep a customer, but usually you’re one of thousands and they can afford to lose you if you start to cost the company too much. (In tech time or in replacement costs.)

Remember that just like you, the people you call are just doing their job. Like most people, you’ll want to respond in a more positive way to someone if they are positive towards you. Most people work better when they’re not being yelled at and they enjoy their jobs a lot more when the experience is pleasant.