Do You Have An Office Work Spouse?

Posted by on Sep 16, 2008 | 4 Comments

While lunching with a co-worker last week, I recently heard a term that spurred some thought. The term he used was “Work Spouses” when talking about office dynamics.

Just to clarify for those of you going down this train of thought — the term does not refer to office romances. It refers to those office relationships, which are platonic, but mirror real marriages in several ways. For example, your spouse at home more than likely knows how you like your coffee. You may also have a co-worker who knows how you like your coffee and brings you one each morning.

So how do you know if you have a Work Spouse? Here are a few telltale signs that you and one of your co-workers have a Work Spouse relationship:

  1. You rely on your co-worker to get your office supplies, beverages, snacks, etc.
  2. When you need something, you go directly to your co-worker for assistance.
  3. You and your co-worker share inside jokes that others in the office do not understand.
  4. You confide in your co-worker as though he or she were a best friend. As a result, your co-worker knows a lot about your personal life.
  5. Your co-worker knows what you like to eat for breakfast, lunch and snacks.
  6. Your co-worker knows what you are thinking and can finish your sentences.

If these tell tale signs apply to you and your co-worker, you may have a Work Spouse relationship. What you are probably wondering now is whether these types of relationships are positive or negative. Unfortunately, the answer to this is not black and white. There are both positive and negative aspects to having Work Spouse relationships. The important thing is that you manage the relationship to ensure everyone remains happy in his or her jobs.

  • http://wp3.lockergnome.com leftystrat

    Absolutely.

    I had what I referred to as my Work Wife. This was totally above board, as my Real Wife also referred to her that way. We were good friends. Naturally any male seen with a female more than once has to be doing undercover work, according to the Gossip Mill.

    Then there’s another concept I invented: the Vice Wife. You know how, when the president is unable to carry out the duties of his office, the vice president steps in? I was thinking the vice wife could step in when the wife was unable to carry out the duties of her office.

    My wife thinks it’s pretty funny, so long as I don’t attempt to implement it. She made that point rather clearly :)

    The idea of having a coworker get office supplies or snacks for me is off-putting though. I wouldn’t ask someone to get me a pen unless I was putting out fires elsewhere.

  • http://whatsit2you.blogspot.com Charlie on PA Tpk

    I have had one office spouse. We never routinely brought each other coffee, to use your example, but all of the other points were dead on.

    We haven’t worked together in over 5 years now, and while we stay in touch, it’s not now, nor will likely ever be, the same.

  • tom agnew

    yes i have a work spouse and she does know a lots about me, we share good time and bad times in our life
    she knowes how i like my coffee and i her breakfast food i know her kids and she mine
    we never have had or plan on haveing sex so i guess we fit the role of work spouse

  • Chad McBride

    I have been labeled a work spouse in the past, which got me interested in studying this relationship. I am a faculty member in a Communication Studies department at Creighton University, and a colleague and I are interested in studying communication in the work spouse relationship. If you are in a work spouse relationship (or have been called one by others) or you work with “work spouses,” we’d appreciate your help by filling out the survey linked below. The survey only takes 10-15 minutes to complete and you have the option to enter to win a $25 amazon.com gift certificate.

    https://www.blueq-surveys.creighton.edu/se.ashx?s=46BEEE7F1E8630CF