Report: Helper Monkeys Revisited

Ah, the memories. Seems like only yesterday that I posted my very first official Gnomereport. Back then, I must have seemed a little “silly” to my readers while I was working to create a style that would carry me through my new writing gig. Those of you who have been loyal readers for a relative amount of time most likely remember my “helper monkeys.” Boy, they were a really big help when deadlines were near, but things eventually took a turn for the worst, I’m afraid. See, for the longest time, my little monkey buddies were flinging one great article idea after another in my general direction. Heck, it took everything I had just to get all of those super article ideas down onto paper. Unfortunately, the monkeys decided to stop flinging great ideas, instead opting for a more unpleasant alternative - if you get my drift. With that said and done, the monkeys had to go. There was just no way around it.

Looking back on it all, I must admit that I miss the zany humor that I worked so hard to include into most of my articles. Granted, there were times that it was laid on a little thick. However, you could never say that I was someone who took things too seriously. I believe that writing ought to have a little humor in it whenever possible. After all, technology does not always have to be taken so seriously. See, if your written content becomes too stale and repetitive, your readers will subconsciously begin looking for new and demented ways to absorb your written work. For instance, I recently discovered that trying to read an article through osmosis with your face firmly planted against a computer monitor does not seem to be very effective! Oh sure, the monitor does keep one side of your face nice and toasty. But this does very little to help you retain anything of value, other than a satisfying crackling sound your face makes as you are peel yourself off of your computer screen.

Well folks, the orderly here at the nut-barn has informed me that it is time for me to retire to my little padded room. I was hoping to have a chance to thank each of you for sticking it out with us as we continue to implement changes that… oh, wow, my meds just kicked in big time. Can you hear those colors, too? OK, then, have a great weekend and don’t believe anything the three-headed lizard man tells ya, he’s always making stuff up!

Let’s get digital,
Matt Hartley