Hello. My name is Matt Ryan, and I’m married. While there might not be a 12-step program for marriage, there are some simple tricks you can do to make married life a little more manageable. After all, you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with this person, right?
Let me start by making one thing quite clear. I love my wife, and being married is perhaps one of the most important adventures of my life. Part of this adventure is overcoming obstacles. Whether those obstacles come in the form of a few annoying habits that spark shouting matches, or finding the finances we need to get the rent paid, the fact that we face these challenges together makes us stronger as a couple.
That said, marriage isn’t perfect. Often, the arguments about the most petty of circumstances turn out to be the ones that become the most heated. Yes, we argue. Every couple does, no matter how happy they are together. That’s one of the hardest lessons any married couple has to learn early on, and possibly one of the biggest reasons for such a dramatically high divorce rate here in the US. We have trouble managing our anger, frustration, and spend much of our lives wondering “what if?”
Well, here are five apps that might actually make overcoming common marital issues easier. Whether your problem stems from petty arguments or otherwise.
Marriage Fight Tracker
Have you ever wished you had a referee to step in during an argument? Some say knowledge is the best weapon against marital issues, and for the most part that’s absolutely correct. Fight Tracker allows you to keep a running log of any fights that you might be having, allowing you to better keep tabs on any repetitive issues that may come up.
Not only does Fight Tracker track your fights, but it also offers suggestions including 10 important rules any married person should know.
Few marital disputes are more heated than the ones that could have been prevented by simply remembering some important dates. Your anniversary, his/her birthday, the anniversary of your engagement or first date are also important to remember (whether she says so or not).
MANsaver keeps you in the know and gives you a heads up so you don’t forget those important days.
Not only does it do that, but it also gives you examples of text messages you can send your spouse to remind them that you’re thinking about them. Without a doubt, this could be the best all-around tool for the forgetful male.
Let’s face it: Your romantic side will only take you so far. Marriage is an all-encompassing activity that requires a bit more than a little charm and thoughtfulness. Sometimes, you have to deliver in other areas, too.
iKamasutra is an excellent app if you’re looking for something new to do in that place you’re not supposed to talk about to your friends. Sometimes, it isn’t what you do, but what you don’t do that makes all the difference in the world.
Fix a Fight
Fix a Fight is intended to help you keep tabs on your spouse’s emotional state and suggests things you can do to make things better. Communication is key, and this app may just help you get on the right track.
As I mentioned before, every couple fights. A breakdown in communication during or after a fight can be catastrophic to any relationship. Fix a Fight is a helpful hand when you need it most, giving you the information you need to help you make the best decisions.
The PAIRS Foundation has helped couples gain a better understanding of one another for years. Inspiring conversation, building rapport, and learning something new about your spouse is a journey that never ends for a married couple. From PAIRS comes a free app called PAIRS DTR. This app allows you to give a report to your spouse that helps them to better understand how you’re feeling.
PAIRS DTR boasts five daily steps to a better marriage. Appreciation, new information, puzzles, concerns (with recommendations), and your wishes, hopes, and dreams can be shared using the app, giving you and your spouse a new opportunity to bond with a helpful virtual go-between that serves as a reminder to communicate with your spouse.
No matter what tools you use to help improve communication in your relationship, they should never be a replacement for taking your own initiative. A little something extra here and there can go a long way towards letting your wife or husband know that you care, and that the fire is still lit.
Marriage is about give and take. Arguments are bound to happen, and sometimes the important things get missed. What’s important is that you make a solid effort. Your spouse will understand setbacks more if you make a habit of doing something extra here and there.
If apps aren’t your cup of tea, you can always mark important dates down on your calendar of choice. Setting a reminder a week in advance gives you the opportunity to buy a gift, make reservations, and put together something that will really surprise your spouse.
Relying on an app do fix your marriage for you is never a good idea. While these apps can go a long way towards providing a helpful hand, they should never be relied on for anything else other than a source for inspiration. After some time, you should be able to remember the important events and know what to say to make things right well enough on your own.
I’m also going to note here that no app should ever take the place of couples counseling. Every couple has problems, and sometimes it takes a mediator to help restore the bits and pieces they chip away. It should never be something any couple should be ashamed of, in fact, taking that extra step to mend a relationship can go a long way towards building a healthier and happier relationship. Kept private, yes… but at the end of the day nothing in this world is more important than family.