Minecraft Creeper Beanie Glorifies the Greenest of Meanies

In a world of ultra-violence, doublespeak, and other terms that equate with unpleasantness in the dystopian lexicon, is it wrong for me to covet a Minecraft Creeper Beanie?

Does it mark me as morally ambiguous to seemingly endorse this opponent of peace and prosperity by wearing one on my head for all to see? Does it glorify the greenest of meanies and turn me into an agent of anarchy and an enemy of the people? I don’t know about all that, but it is a nifty hat, don’t you think?

Minecraft Creeper Beanie Glorifies the Greenest of Meanies
[Image: Hot Topic]

A Beanie Baby this ain’t.

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Our resident "Bob" (pictured here through the lens of photographer Jason DeFillippo) is in love with a woman who talks to animals. He has a fondness for belting out songs about seafaring and whiskey (arguably inappropriate in most social situations). He's arm-wrestled robots and won. He was born in a lighthouse on the storm-tossed shores of an island that has since been washed away and forgotten, so he's technically a citizen of nowhere. He's never killed in anger. He once underwent therapy for having an alien in his face, but he assures us that he's now feeling "much better." Fogarty also claims that he was once marooned along a tiny archipelago and survived for months using only his wits and a machete, but we find that a little hard to believe.