Einstein Relativity Watch Sees Time from a Different Perspective

If you want to see the precious minutes of your life advance forever forward from an Einstein’s eye view (before they cut up his brain and put its little gray pieces in a bunch of jars), then the Einstein Relativity Watch is the timepiece you seek…

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[Image: Amazon]

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Our resident "Bob" (pictured here through the lens of photographer Jason DeFillippo) is in love with a woman who talks to animals. He has a fondness for belting out songs about seafaring and whiskey (arguably inappropriate in most social situations). He's arm-wrestled robots and won. He was born in a lighthouse on the storm-tossed shores of an island that has since been washed away and forgotten, so he's technically a citizen of nowhere. He's never killed in anger. He once underwent therapy for having an alien in his face, but he assures us that he's now feeling "much better." Fogarty also claims that he was once marooned along a tiny archipelago and survived for months using only his wits and a machete, but we find that a little hard to believe.