Don’t Panic! You’ll Find the Right Towel for Towel Week

Haven’t been able to find an ideal towel with which to sufficiently celebrate Towel Week (or Towel Day)? Don’t Panic. Solutions are all around!

Don't Panic! You'll Find the Right Towel for Towel Week
[Image: eBay]

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Our resident "Bob" (pictured here through the lens of photographer Jason DeFillippo) is in love with a woman who talks to animals. He has a fondness for belting out songs about seafaring and whiskey (arguably inappropriate in most social situations). He's arm-wrestled robots and won. He was born in a lighthouse on the storm-tossed shores of an island that has since been washed away and forgotten, so he's technically a citizen of nowhere. He's never killed in anger. He once underwent therapy for having an alien in his face, but he assures us that he's now feeling "much better." Fogarty also claims that he was once marooned along a tiny archipelago and survived for months using only his wits and a machete, but we find that a little hard to believe.